I’ve been in what my mom used to call a “funk” for the last week or so. Since I was a kid, I would get in these funks about once a month and I don’t know how to stop it. I try to push through, I try to keep myself distracted but sometimes there’s no escaping it. I’ve been trying to stay away from this kind of post. My eyes roll every time someone posts about depression or anxiety on social media because everyone has some kind of underlying symptom of one of those things. What makes my despondence significant? I have it pretty easy.
I can usually rationalize myself out of feeling down or unmotivated but not this week. This week’s been pretty dark. My diet and lack of physical activity hasn’t been helping. I keep leaving work early to get snacks, go home, smoke a bowl and eat said snacks until I pass out- only to wake up and do the same thing again the next day. It’s pathetic. I think I know why I’m self sabotaging but for some reason I don’t want to confront it yet. Confronting it might end what I have going on right now and what I have going on right now feels good…while it’s going on. I know I’m being vague but I think you get the gist.
The funk always starts in a deep, dark place and then creeps out to touch all whenever I give it fuel. I fuel it with a lack of sleep, sugar and consuming (rather than creating). I just looked down and saw that I made it to 250 words. I created that and now I’m done. Yeah, the funk is real.
Give me your best funk fix.