Altruism

I don’t know if I believe in true altruism.

We help people because it helps us and as long as you’re not hurting anyone or anything, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

We’ve all done thoughtful acts but rarely at the expense of our well being or even our comfort. I mean, why should we? To look like a good person? I’ve met a lot of really good people in my life but I’ve never gotten the impression that they were doing the right thing for the “greater good”. It just seemed like they were “good” people because it felt good to be a good person and that’s how they were rewarded by whomever raised or influenced them.  It wasn’t altruism.

Maybe I’m just a bad person and I don’t get it. I don’t know.

In all fairness, I don’t think it’s anyone’s fault that true altruism doesn’t exist. Our current system doesn’t reward altruistic behavior. Capitalism is not supposed to be a zero sum game, but in all games, there are competitors and those competitors either come out as winners or losers. Are you willing to be a loser for the greater good? Because that’s true altruism.

I’m not religious but I think that’s what our idea of Jesus is, a true altruist. We all think Tim Tebow is the second coming of Jesus but he ain’t. He’s probably a really good guy but the real Jesus is some guy in Oklahoma that takes care of his meth addicted sister’s kids and doesn’t have time for romantic relationships. It’s some guy we don’t know because he doesn’t want to be known. That’s Jesus and that’s true altruism.

I had the idea that mothers were the only true altruists but the more I thought about it, the more I was dissuaded. Sure, mothers perform selfless acts all the time but I think that it’s mostly because of social pressure. I think a lot of moms would leave little Johnny in a basket floating down the river if they had the choice but that’s kind of looked down upon now. Mothers are good to their children because if they’re not, they’ll look bad.

I feel like I’ll revisit these thoughts again one day. Until then, that’s all I have on the subject.

On an unrelated note, “#1 Dad” mugs aren’t for your dad. They’re for you. It’s a chance for you to say, “Hey, I got my dad a mug.” If you really just wanted to give him a mug, it would probably look cooler and not reference the fact that he fathered you.

Episode 153: A Little Smells

The guys try to figure out how fetishes are fashioned. Dean talks about doing the most time he’s ever done on stage and Zack decides he’s going to be hot again. Pornstar pussy spray, midget fighting and 10-15 years of being a loser.

Bas – Purge

Bloc Party – Real Talk

I’m an Attention Whore…& That’s OK

One of my exes called me an attention whore because I posted a photo of myself in my sports bra to show off my results from the gym. “Guys like me don’t respect girls like you.” ~ Why I stayed after that is a whole other topic for discussion…

 

The attention whore comment was so cutting I deleted the photo…After he broke up with me – I was so damaged from months of similar comments that I believed them, and had to quit social media altogether. I couldn’t post any picture, of myself or of anything, without experiencing an overwhelming fear that he was right about me – I’m a whore for attention and everything I post is indicative of that. I’m a bad person.

 

SPOILER ALERT…I recovered and rose from the ashes of my broken heart like the fiery, majestic Phoenix I am. And here’s what I learned. 1. He was such a jerk (*insert Ariana Grande Thank u, Next**), but 2. He was right – I DO love attention. AND GUESS WHAT? – THAT IS OKAY. Why do we stigmatize admitting that we like attention so much? When we say someone just wants attention it has a negative connotation, when a child acts out or behaves poorly we jump to the conclusion that the child just wants attention – it’s associated with bad behavior from a young age. But craving attention is NOT a character flaw – it is simply human. We all want to be loved, and desired to some extent.

 

Of course there are unhealthy ways to seek validation from others (I’m a huge proponent of achieving validity through self) – but wanting attention doesn’t automatically make you a bad person. Wanting validation, love, respect, or to be seen in a positive light is natural even for the most self assured elites among us. I’m tired of people shaming others for wanting attention. You deserve to be seen, and heard. Again, how we seek attention is likely the issue behind the stigma – but there are VERY few people who go through their lives without needing this human connection.

 

Why else would solitary confinement be a punishment?

 

When people seek attention by making long, emotional & personal posts about something bad going on in their lives – yes, they’re looking for attention – but probably because they really do feel pretty shitty about the bad stuff happening to them. Should they struggle in silence instead so as not to appear like an ‘attention seeker’?

 

When people want to post about their accomplishments, I.e gym progress (yup, we’re circling back) – they’re looking for attention – because it doesn’t hurt to hear words of affirmation about something you worked really hard to achieve. You look/feel good? Then show it off sis! Don’t be ashamed to be you. Revel in the love and support you receive from others and your mental health will thank you for it.

 

PSA: My name is Jade and I love attention. This is not an AA meeting because well, loving attention is not a problem.

Words Suck

Every Thursday morning, I wake up and think about what I’m going to write about for this blog. I’ll come up with an outline or an idea, get all worked up and motivated to post it early (to get the most eyes on it) but inevitably, three sentences in, I can’t stand my own words. Cut to almost two hours before midnight and I’m scrambling to get something down that’s somewhat compelling. Maybe that’s what I’ll talk about this week. I love writing, but this week I’ll tell you why I hate it, why I think I’m not good at it and why words suck.

This shit’s hard. I mean, it’s easy to write…like just write down your thoughts, duh, but when I was growing up, school made writing so formulaic that it seemed like a chore. It made me hate it. I get that you need the basics. You should know how to spell, form sentences, and the difference between a colon and a semicolon (for some reason), but eventually writing and writing assessments got way too restrictive. The template was simple. You have a main point (thesis), three to four supporting paragraphs and then you wrap it all up at the end in a bow with a summary of your supporting paragraphs and how they related to your main point. There was no room for experimentation and certainly no room for humor. Maybe it’s just the teachers I had or the school system I was brought up in but it wasn’t until college that I actually got to experiment with writing.

I think I hate my writing now because I don’t think it adequately portrays me. I haven’t worked that muscle in my brain to be good enough to tell you all exactly what i’m thinking and I don’t yet have the ability to clearly spell out my perspective. I think I’m still too worried about the fact that people are reading this. I’ve gotta get over that.

This might be the weed typing but I also don’t think I think in words. **Definitely the weed typing**. But for real, I always say that I think language gets in the way and I really believe it. Words are great and all but that’s all they are. Words are inadequate. Dr. Albert Mehrabian (author of Silent Messages) agrees and found that only 7% of any message is conveyed through words. Yeah, writing might just suck. Who even reads books any more? Audiobooks don’t count and most fiction books are just as bad as sitcoms with laugh tracks, so they don’t count either. Writing is a dead medium and we all know it. If it’s not on Youtube, fuck off.

I’m not wrapping this up in a bow. You got what you paid for.

An Ode to Ari Shaffir

      We’re in the middle of a standup comedy boom. It’s never been bigger. There’s no one reason, as the soar in popularity of podcasts, roast battles and big budget Netflix specials have all contributed to this glut of laughs and comedic perspectives. However, there is one unsung hero who’s played a pivotal role in the mainstream success of comedy by bricklaying the foundation of the underground. That man’s name is, Ari Shaffir.

*I’m not an expert nor a historian but I am a comedy nerd so some of the names and references I’m about to drop may be a little obscure.*

For decades, there was a palpable beef between West Coast (mostly Los Angeles) and East Coast (mostly New York and Boston) comedians. New York and Boston comedians thought L.A. comics were vapid, shallow and showboaty while it seemed as if L.A. comics perceived their coastal counterparts to be unnecessarily gritty, brash and everything blue collar that they were trying to get away from. Ari Shaffir played and is still playing a major role in squashing this beef by bridging the two comedy meccas together via podcasts, a collaborative storytelling tv show and most importantly, live comedy shows.

Ari Shaffir, a.k.a. “The Amazing Racist”,  developed his chops at the world famous Comedy Store in Los Angeles in the early 2000’s. He had some moderate success around town, featuring for big comics like Carlos Mencia (big comic at the time), Tom Segura and Joe Rogan. In 2013, Ari started to gain real mainstream traction with the success of his storytelling web-series, “This Is Not Happening” presented by Comedy Central on Youtube which was later picked up by the network as a full fledged tv show in 2015. He also dropped his second special, “Paid Regular“, the same year and week on the network. Around that time, Ari started traveling back and forth between the two coasts before officially becoming a New York City resident in 2015. This catalyzed a new relationship between New York and L.A. comedians that has proved to be fruitful for both sides.

Most of you know who Joe Rogan is. He’s essentially an L.A. comedian who first gained mainstream fame for hosting “Fear Factor”, then as a headlining comedian but most of you know him now as one of the biggest podcasters hosting one of the biggest podcasts out there, “The Joe Rogan Experience”. Well, Ari and Joe are best friends. When Ari moved to New York, he made more friends..very funny comedian friends. With Ari’s endorsement he got Joe to put those friend’s on Joe’s podcast and boom, careers were made, saved and resurrected. People like Mark Normand, Joe List, Dan Soder, Big Jay Oakerson, Luis J Gomez, and Dave Smith were all introduced to Joe through Ari. These comics are all killing the underground scene, poised to be household names when comedy inevitably shifts back to the dark ages.

Ari didn’t forget about his L.A. comedian friends. He made sure they got in with his new community in New York as well. Old friends like Tony Hinchcliffe, Jayson Thibault, Sam Tripoli, and Bert Kreischer are almost all now touring the country (and some the world) as a result of their success on New York City podcasts and shows. This would have never happened without Ari’s backing. These comedians gained an entire new fanbase and opened up an entirely new market (the east coast) just by being associated with Ari. I’m simplifying their success way too much but even they would agree that Ari had a lot to do with bringing the two comedy communities together for the betterment of everyone.

I could go on and on about Ari but I feel like I’ve given you all enough of a reason to at least check out a few of his projects to get to know a little bit about why he’s such an important person in comedy. He’s not a household name because he doesn’t want to be but he’s a big reason why comedy is so good today. He’s free, principled and willing to do whatever it takes t get a laugh in the moment. Check out his podcast, Skeptic Tank and go see him live any chance you get.

Episode 149: Fuck Sauerkraut

The guys ponder whether or not their parents would be cool if they were gay. As always, the guys work out bits and just have a super time time good. Dean has a firm stance on sweet potato vs. pumpkin pie and Zack will never be likable.

Waylon Jennings – Never Been To Spain

Foo Fighters – Come Alive