Considering you’re reading this on one of your many devices, doing shit you don’t care about is unnecessary. I don’t mean the every day things e.g., brushing your teeth, doing the dishes, taking your baby for a walk- of course all of those are necessary activities. I think big life things, like what you do to make money, who you spend your time with and just overall how you spend your time is way more in your control than you think. Your boring/unfulfilling job, that partner that adds tension and anxiety, and the agony of you not chasing your passion day after day can go away quicker than a rat snap. That shit is unnecessary.
Sure, most of us need jobs to survive but not at the mental expense that most of us don’t even realize. I’ve always heard that a salary never made anyone rich and with almost 13 years of vastly different job experience, it’s starting to ring alarmingly true. My goal isn’t to be rich but instead to one day have personal satisfaction and piece of mind in knowing that I am self-sustainable without burden on other people. This goal will never happen as long as I to pursue mid-level management at some company that doesn’t really care about me or what my goals are outside of said company. People think they have assurance and security at big, established firms but at the end of the day, they’re putting their futures in the hands of people who only see them as a box in a hierarchy connected by segmented lines. I think this reality for them deep down in their subconscious and comes out through PTA beefs, stamp collections and too many happy hours. That shit is sad and unnecessary.
People need people, that’s true. It’s also true that people can be your biggest downfall. We all have an archetype built in for people we meet in our life, even if we don’t realize it. We trust the doughy, well kept, fair-skinned mom type because of movies and maternal figures in our lives and are attracted to hour glass figured, high heeled women because of the same type of thing (movies and media). That kind of stuff creeps in with your partners as well. Physical attraction is a motherfucker because it can trick our brains in to thinking a person is good for us even though all signs point to the contrary. The bottom line is, if your partner doesn’t make you feel good about yourself or doesn’t make you a better person, ya dip. That shit is unnecessary.
Most (if not all) of what I’m saying has been said and harped on before but I know there’s at least one of you that needed to read these words today. I don’t think my blog post is going to change your life but it could be one more grain of sand tilting the scale towards making a decision to change…and I’ll take that. Just remember that the things you choose to do everyday and the people you choose to be around should lift you up and make you better. If not, ya dip. That shit is unnecessary.
Zack and Dean test their new theory on the three main phases in a young man’s life, set the record straight on why they are “The Relatables”, delve in to the potential drawbacks of augmented reality (via “deep fakes”) and examine the hypocrisy if cigarette smokers.
Over the past year, I’ve been really learning how to become a professional. In the sense that things need to be done.
Rome wasn’t build in a day, but it also wasn’t built when they felt like it. I think everyone struggles with “feelin it”. If not, then maybe this could be about mental illness instead of professionalism. Really it’s just riding the roller coaster between uber motivated and driven and then riding through feelings of stagnation and unproductive thoughts.
This week was just one of those lull weeks. Was late to work, a cheap meal turned into a cheap day, that turned into a cheat weekend. Then I’m stuck to pull myself out of the hole I’ve created, to hold myself accountable to the person I want to become. It’s just like Zack and I talked about in the last episode. Once you have integrity or a standard, it is very hard to go back. I know that being healthy and responsible is who I want to be, and I can’t justify making excuses.
Some days I feel like I’m really on to something, like I figuring things out. Then days like last week, you realize you have a lot of growing up to do. C’est La Vie.
*This was edited, after the fact. But no one will notice.*
Being single this summer has forced me to spend some time looking inward. I started asking myself why I’ve spent so much time in and out of relationships, and I rarely stay single for more than six months at a time (if that). It’s strange because people who know me tend to describe me as this free spirit, the girl who does what she wants and can’t be controlled. I’m not the kind of person who depends on a relationship for safety or security – yet I find myself always in one? Why?
Because I’m fucking high demand that’s why. Grade A, bomb ass P………..KIDDING.
I think it’s because I’m such an extrovert and I’m always meeting new people and having an amazing time (PG answer 😊). Then I connect with someone, we like each other, and over time it becomes the next step that just makes the most sense despite the red flags. So far that obviously hasn’t worked out for me – my longest relationship has been with my cat (6 years strong baby).
So instead, I’m consciously choosing to enjoy this me (and cat) time. My old skool aunt would tell you that at 27, I’m being “too picky”, and she asked me to point her to the mystical land of Mr Perfects when I find it. I’m not searching for perfect. I’m searching for myself (what a millennial line). There are things that I thought I wanted out of life, but by being with myself this summer alone, I realized that I don’t want those things. I don’t want to have kids, I don’t want to move back home to settle down anymore. I don’t want to settle down at all, until my joints hurt and I can’t walk. This isn’t to say I’m opposed to fully sharing my life with someone else again, it just can’t be because it’s the “next step” to stay in each other’s lives.
Working on that…that’s the next step in my relationship with me.
You see the title, we’ve all heard the phrase. “It takes a village” is an African idiom as old as time, but I think it’s idiotic that it only applies to children. Where did this “village” go? What happened to all the people to who used to pinch my cheeks and snitch on me to my mom? It was all good when I was a cute pup but now that doggy’s all grown up he has to hunt for his own kibble. I’ll stray away from the dramatics of the dog metaphor but after you reach a certain age, life gets rough (or ruff, hehe). Right around the time you grow out of your cuteness is when you need the village the most. You’re a preteen and your face is greasy, your voice is all over the place and you’re swatting boners away like a never-ending game of whack-a-mole. That’s when the village starts losing members…like a plague came through. Your adorable “kids say the darnedest things” moments become awkward silence and dads aren’t cool with you hanging out with their daughters unsupervised. Adults try to connect with you by reminiscing about their old days, which only embarrasses you and further pushes you away. Or they’re so scared or insecure to try to connect that they turn in to dicks. I don’t know, and I’m getting close to that 250 word count minimum that for some reason I imposed on The Relatable team.
The jizz of it is, long after we’re children, it STILL takes a village. However, the cool thing is that you can eventually hand pick your village. Pick your village wisely and remember the strong will outlast any plague.
P.s. – I thought the title and premise was sooo original before writing this and I googled “it still takes a village” about midway through and forced myself to try to finish. Really embracing the newly found credo, “Don’t Overthink Shit”. Boom. Godnight.