Zack and Dean test their new theory on the three main phases in a young man’s life, set the record straight on why they are “The Relatables”, delve in to the potential drawbacks of augmented reality (via “deep fakes”) and examine the hypocrisy if cigarette smokers.
You see the title, we’ve all heard the phrase. “It takes a village” is an African idiom as old as time, but I think it’s idiotic that it only applies to children. Where did this “village” go? What happened to all the people to who used to pinch my cheeks and snitch on me to my mom? It was all good when I was a cute pup but now that doggy’s all grown up he has to hunt for his own kibble. I’ll stray away from the dramatics of the dog metaphor but after you reach a certain age, life gets rough (or ruff, hehe). Right around the time you grow out of your cuteness is when you need the village the most. You’re a preteen and your face is greasy, your voice is all over the place and you’re swatting boners away like a never-ending game of whack-a-mole. That’s when the village starts losing members…like a plague came through. Your adorable “kids say the darnedest things” moments become awkward silence and dads aren’t cool with you hanging out with their daughters unsupervised. Adults try to connect with you by reminiscing about their old days, which only embarrasses you and further pushes you away. Or they’re so scared or insecure to try to connect that they turn in to dicks. I don’t know, and I’m getting close to that 250 word count minimum that for some reason I imposed on The Relatable team.
The jizz of it is, long after we’re children, it STILL takes a village. However, the cool thing is that you can eventually hand pick your village. Pick your village wisely and remember the strong will outlast any plague.
P.s. – I thought the title and premise was sooo original before writing this and I googled “it still takes a village” about midway through and forced myself to try to finish. Really embracing the newly found credo, “Don’t Overthink Shit”. Boom. Godnight.
I’m frantically typing this at work as the last few minutes of my unpaid lunch break expire. I’ve tried not to put too much thought in writing a blog because honestly I think blogs are lame but this was all I could think about this morning. What should I say? What should my point of view be? Why do questions in writings almost always come in threes? I’m not a writer but I so desperately want to be…so this is me doing that. I try to write jokes because in my brain it’s less pretentious than writing something that is self reflective. Even as I typed out that last sentence my brain said, “But great jokes are self reflective if you really think about it.” Fucking douche. Speaking of douche, I’m renaming the blog “DB”. It’s a play on words (or letters) that could mean “Daily Blog” or “Douche Bag”. I don’t really think I’m a douche bag but I do think that’s how I’m perceived so it’s not really up to me, is it? I’m jumping around a lot here but that’s kind of the point. I’ll get better at putting more cohesive thoughts and ideas together as I do more of these but I think it’s important that you all see how shitty I was at the beginning of this thing and then scroll to the point where you might actually get something out of my daily ramblings. I’m just about at the 250 word mark so I’ll keep typing for another second and leave you with my thoughts for today. Bye.