Episode 148: President Camacha

If you’re listening on iTunes, visit the site (TheRelatables.com), click on the Amazon banner and do all of your shopping through that link this holiday season. It costs you no extra money and it helps support the podcast! This week the guys talk hot lady presidents (Camacha not Camacho), invent a new marketing service and talk about Dean’s super busy week.

Stunna 4 Vegas – Up The Smoke (ft. Offset)

MC Kevin o Chris – Ela é do tipo (ft. Drake)

How Black Are You?

“Like what percentage, isn’t it like half?” – I’ve heard some variation of this question countless times throughout my life.  It’s not that I mind people’s curiosity about my background, it’s that I mind the pervasiveness of misinformation when it comes to race vs ethnicity vs nationality…I have also noticed how many times I’ve had to hear someone else answering the background question with the coveted, “I’m 1/4 Egyptian, 1/4 Italian, 1/12 Jewish, 1/19 Irish, 1/256 Greek”…One, no one cares that freaking much when they ask…and two…okay maybe it’s just me that doesn’t care that much? Just say you’re white and/or black etc and call it a day?
Alright, there’s actually a number of things that bug me about this topic actually, so here’s just a short list to correct some potential myths. They’re not even opinion based so hear me out! 
1. You can’t know “what percentage” of any race you are based on what your parents are. Say your dad is black and white because he has a white mother and a black father.  That does not automatically mean he is half and half, or that you’re a quarter of each.  Genetics don’t work like that.  You can absorb more or less of either side (i.e. 30% black, 60% white or vice versa).  Same with your siblings.  Your full-sister can be genetically “blacker” or “whiter” than you.  
2. Your nationality/ethnicity is NOT your race.  If I say I’m Puerto Rican, or American for that instance, that’s not telling you my race.  If someone says they’re German, you probably automatically picture a white person – however, there are black Germans.  There are black Puerto Ricans, white ones, and generally hella mixed ones. There are black Spaniards, there are white Africans…You get it.
3. Companies like 23andMe, Ancestry, MyHeritage have a ways to go regarding accuracy of genealogy reporting. These companies simply compare your DNA to the DNA of other people with known ancestries.  In doing so, they look for evidence that you have common ancestors with people in the specified reference group (Spanish people for example).  The problem arises though, when we consider that every company uses a different reference group, and these reference groups are changing all the time.  This means you could easily get a result from one company that says you’re 3x more Polish than the other company reports.  What’s more is that the reference group information available for certain ethnicities is lacking, where it is mostly abundant in European/white data points.  Over time, the hope is that the more people participate, the more accurate the reporting will become across all ethnic groups.
That’s my hope at least, since I successfully transcended through ALL 5 stages of grief after my 23andMe pegged me as 60% white (with a Rican mom and biracial dad).  Until then, I’m making my first casserole and dry turkey this Thanksgiving. Trying to embrace this potential newfound identity.

Big Me vs. Little Me

        My brain works better when I’m looking slightly forward. There’s a lot of “live in the moment” blather but the only reason a lot of these people choose to live “in the now” is because they made decisions in the past that afforded them the time and resources to do so. Those past actions were performed based on hope or a certain desired outcome…in the future.

I usually try to shy away from absolutes but ever since I’ve been back home, I feel like I’ve only noticed two types of people. There are the people working on themselves, looking towards the future and people still stuck on decisions and actions from the past. Maybe it’s just the people I’ve surrounded myself with but it’s obvious which tactic is working out for whom.

The big worry is that by looking too far in the future, we grow anxious and forget to appreciate and live in the moment. I think that logic should only apply in the moment.

I’ve heard a lot of talk about “big me” and “little me” lately. The gist is that there is a bigger part of yourself (usually rooted in some form of self-preservation) that looks at the overall picture and steers your lifeboat in accordance to your desired destination. “Big me” is creative yet goal oriented and wants to build. The smaller part of yourself, your “little me” looks within and is more virtuous in it’s approach to life. You need both, but not equally all the time. Right now I need my “big me” to steer full steam ahead.

Maybe for you, it’s “little me” season. You’ve pushed and pushed and right now is the time for introspection and confrontation of moral dilemmas that might be holding you back from performing when “big me” needs to put work in. It may help you honestly confront behaviors and balance out your perspective which then allow room for more relationships with not only other people but yourself. Your relationship with yourself permeates in to all others. My only advice would not to over indulge on the “little me” or you risk getting stuck in the past.

I don’t really like to do that thing where you summarize everything you just said and make it all cute like a bow on top at the end. All I’m saying is that for me, right now, it’s a good idea to tap in to my “big me” and look forward a little. That’s it.

 

Sources: Intro to The Road To Character by David Brooks

 

Momentum

“The human brain is not designed to make you happy, it’s designed to make you survive. Happiness, that’s your job.”

I found this quote about 3 years ago and it helped me change my perspective and how I felt about life.

Sometimes life can be simple, but just because it’s simple does not make it easy.

I used to get frustrated that I wasn’t where I wanted to be in life or that I didn’t feel how I thought I should, but this quote helped me realize that you manifest your own destiny. It’s not owed to you or somehow built into going through the motions.

But one thing that really helps me is momentum. I’m motivated by a lot of things, but one of the most powerful is habit.

Take getting/staying in shape for example. It starts with the little things, like working out. After you work out you feel those endorphins flowing and you don’t want to fuel a good work out with junk food, so you eat a clean, healthy meal. The next day you feel sore, but know that if you work out anyway, it will be good for you. So you work out and eat healthy again the next day. A few days of this go by and the weekend rolls around. A friend invites you to go out to eat and grab some drinks. You do, and over indulge a bit. Enough to make you skip working out the next day, and the next. This is what usually starts my motivation kick. I start to think about all the momentum I’ve lost. About how if I just do the little things everyday, it adds up to big results. About how hard it will be to start from scratch, or start to slip when I’ve already come so far

There’s a video I like, it’s about brushing your teeth and how it correlates to getting in shape. Brushing your teeth one time for 2 minutes isn’t going to make your teeth white. Just like working out one day isn’t going to get you a 6 pack. But brushing your teeth twice a day for a year will certainly whiten your teeth. The same goes for anything in life. The small daily act probably won’t make any noticeable difference at all, but the consistency of that act over time, the dedication to the act, knowing you are paying it forward will yield results.

In a ever-growing, fast pace society, people want to see results yesterday. And it can be hard to find the motivation to do the little things when it seems like everyone around you is doing big things. But committing yourself to the act, because you believe in yourself can build momentum. And the momentum, just like a snowball downhill, will grow and grow, until you become the unstoppable force of your dreams.

Here’s The Thing. It’s up to you what you want to do with your life. Set goals, chase your dreams, and have a plan. Know that it’s not overnight success, but a gradual journey. See the person you want to be, and do the things that person would do, until you become that reality.

Episode 147: Merit (the app)

The guys come up with a new idea for a social media app, get real vulnerable about crying and catch up since last week’s guest episode.

bbno$ – Shining On My Ex (feat. Yung Gravy)

Kanye West – Use This Gospel

 

Episode 146: Life In Transit (@dancewithmagic)

Logan Duhammel stops by to let the guys in on his experiences during a 6 month long journey driving all over the country. From Florida to Oregon and then all way back up to Rhode Island, Logan tells The Relatables all about his run-in with the law, epic hookups and even a little bit about how he converted his Ford Transit van to living quarters. Lots of wisdom and laughs in this one!

Ween – So Many People In The Neighborhood

Ween – Ocean Man