Episode 154: Digital Trails

Things get off to a weird start but we eventually get there. Jacksonville is the “Bold New City of the South”, not the oldest. Dean read a couple articles about the impeachment, Zack has a new business idea and AdmitMe is no longer a thing. Shop through the Amazon banner on our site!

Fukkit – Sic (ft. Sabino)

John Legend – It Don’t Have to Change

Altruism

I don’t know if I believe in true altruism.

We help people because it helps us and as long as you’re not hurting anyone or anything, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

We’ve all done thoughtful acts but rarely at the expense of our well being or even our comfort. I mean, why should we? To look like a good person? I’ve met a lot of really good people in my life but I’ve never gotten the impression that they were doing the right thing for the “greater good”. It just seemed like they were “good” people because it felt good to be a good person and that’s how they were rewarded by whomever raised or influenced them.  It wasn’t altruism.

Maybe I’m just a bad person and I don’t get it. I don’t know.

In all fairness, I don’t think it’s anyone’s fault that true altruism doesn’t exist. Our current system doesn’t reward altruistic behavior. Capitalism is not supposed to be a zero sum game, but in all games, there are competitors and those competitors either come out as winners or losers. Are you willing to be a loser for the greater good? Because that’s true altruism.

I’m not religious but I think that’s what our idea of Jesus is, a true altruist. We all think Tim Tebow is the second coming of Jesus but he ain’t. He’s probably a really good guy but the real Jesus is some guy in Oklahoma that takes care of his meth addicted sister’s kids and doesn’t have time for romantic relationships. It’s some guy we don’t know because he doesn’t want to be known. That’s Jesus and that’s true altruism.

I had the idea that mothers were the only true altruists but the more I thought about it, the more I was dissuaded. Sure, mothers perform selfless acts all the time but I think that it’s mostly because of social pressure. I think a lot of moms would leave little Johnny in a basket floating down the river if they had the choice but that’s kind of looked down upon now. Mothers are good to their children because if they’re not, they’ll look bad.

I feel like I’ll revisit these thoughts again one day. Until then, that’s all I have on the subject.

On an unrelated note, “#1 Dad” mugs aren’t for your dad. They’re for you. It’s a chance for you to say, “Hey, I got my dad a mug.” If you really just wanted to give him a mug, it would probably look cooler and not reference the fact that he fathered you.

Kendama

Shout out to Alan aka @trashbeatsalan for putting me on to Kendama. I’m by no means “all in”, but have developed a real fascination for it. It’s a pretty basic ball on a string, attached to a stick game, but there’s so much room for creativity. I like to compare it to skateboarding. The equipment is very simple, and the concept is easy to understand, yet people still make the possibilities seem boundless. From either flipping or spinning the board to just landing the ball in a cup or on a the spike.

I think what I really love about it and so many other niche things, is the learning curve from beginner to high level. If you don’t already know, I love to slack line. And I discovered it when I went to California earlier this year. From afar it seems to defy physics and almost looks mystical. And once I tried, I realized it was extremely harder then they made it look. But after trying for a few hours and buying one when I got back to Jacksonville, I became pretty proficient at it myself. I’m far from professional, but certainly competent at that skill.

It started when I was younger, and my dad was teaching me how to play different instruments. He would tell me, “If you have 10 fingers and they have 10 fingers, the only difference between you and them is time.” I understood what he meant at the time, but even more so now. Music was so easy to relate too because it’s something you can emulate exactly. I had favorite athletes, but as much as I wanted to be like them, I could never recreate their greatest moments. But with music, you can play the exact song played by the artist, note for note, in time and all. There is an objective benchmark.

The reason why I love the learning curve is because it teaches you that anything really is possible if you dedicate yourself to it. When you pick up a kendama, you barely know how to hold it, but you instinctively know to put the ball on the cup. At first your pull is everywhere, until you start to find patterns and see what works. Then you start to hone your attempts until you can generate some consistency. From there you try more and more tricks, slowly developing your skill. Like I’ve mentioned in other blogs, after doing this with a lot of different things, you get good at learning, and develop patience and discipline. Those skills can be applied to anything you want in life.

When I first saw people doing kendama, they were doing flips and spikes and swings and it seemed so far off it looked “impossible” even “pointless”. Sometimes just like our dreams and goals, they seem so advanced, it seems almost pointless to even try. But from trying and learning how to get good at small things like “Kendama and Slack line”, I feel like it mentally helps me take on big things like pursuing comedy and becoming a better person.

Here’s The Thing. Some people might see it as a pointless toy I’ve unnecessarily been keeping with me, but to me it’s a reminder that there’s always room to grow and learn, and most importantly to have FUN.

Episode 153: A Little Smells

The guys try to figure out how fetishes are fashioned. Dean talks about doing the most time he’s ever done on stage and Zack decides he’s going to be hot again. Pornstar pussy spray, midget fighting and 10-15 years of being a loser.

Bas – Purge

Bloc Party – Real Talk

Joker

Although I heard a lot of hate surrounding this movie, I thoroughly enjoyed it. The Joker usually compliments Batman as the crazed villain with a lacking backstory. This movie highlighted how someone could become the Joker and addresses the issue of mental illness at the same time. Just like Deadpool change the mold for raunchy superhero movies, I hope The Joker did too with this suspenseful thriller, as opposed to all action and catch phrases. He’s no Heath Ledger, but Joaquin Phoenix knocked it out of the park and the new joker is definitely “Relatable”.

I’m an Attention Whore…& That’s OK

One of my exes called me an attention whore because I posted a photo of myself in my sports bra to show off my results from the gym. “Guys like me don’t respect girls like you.” ~ Why I stayed after that is a whole other topic for discussion…

 

The attention whore comment was so cutting I deleted the photo…After he broke up with me – I was so damaged from months of similar comments that I believed them, and had to quit social media altogether. I couldn’t post any picture, of myself or of anything, without experiencing an overwhelming fear that he was right about me – I’m a whore for attention and everything I post is indicative of that. I’m a bad person.

 

SPOILER ALERT…I recovered and rose from the ashes of my broken heart like the fiery, majestic Phoenix I am. And here’s what I learned. 1. He was such a jerk (*insert Ariana Grande Thank u, Next**), but 2. He was right – I DO love attention. AND GUESS WHAT? – THAT IS OKAY. Why do we stigmatize admitting that we like attention so much? When we say someone just wants attention it has a negative connotation, when a child acts out or behaves poorly we jump to the conclusion that the child just wants attention – it’s associated with bad behavior from a young age. But craving attention is NOT a character flaw – it is simply human. We all want to be loved, and desired to some extent.

 

Of course there are unhealthy ways to seek validation from others (I’m a huge proponent of achieving validity through self) – but wanting attention doesn’t automatically make you a bad person. Wanting validation, love, respect, or to be seen in a positive light is natural even for the most self assured elites among us. I’m tired of people shaming others for wanting attention. You deserve to be seen, and heard. Again, how we seek attention is likely the issue behind the stigma – but there are VERY few people who go through their lives without needing this human connection.

 

Why else would solitary confinement be a punishment?

 

When people seek attention by making long, emotional & personal posts about something bad going on in their lives – yes, they’re looking for attention – but probably because they really do feel pretty shitty about the bad stuff happening to them. Should they struggle in silence instead so as not to appear like an ‘attention seeker’?

 

When people want to post about their accomplishments, I.e gym progress (yup, we’re circling back) – they’re looking for attention – because it doesn’t hurt to hear words of affirmation about something you worked really hard to achieve. You look/feel good? Then show it off sis! Don’t be ashamed to be you. Revel in the love and support you receive from others and your mental health will thank you for it.

 

PSA: My name is Jade and I love attention. This is not an AA meeting because well, loving attention is not a problem.