You know what, I just read my last post and I needed to defend myself (from myself). The blog name is going back to its original title. I’m not a douchebag. I call myself a douchebag as a defense tactic so it hurts less when other people say or think it. I use the “Eminem/ 8-mile method” of self-deprecation to be more likable but I need to stop. It’s phony. I’m a good fucking dude. I’m a good dude with integrity. I think the byproduct of having integrity is scary because sticking to your guns is uncomfortable at times- especially for other people. I’m a dude with strict boundaries and if you cross a boundary, I’ll let you know about it. Anyone who’s ever called me a douchebag or an asshole usually ended up exhibiting the same symptoms of assholishness they previously diagnosed me with. Sure, I’ve been a dick before but who hasn’t? I’ve learned from my mistakes and I’ve taken those lessons to heart as I interact with people on a daily basis. I’m not perfect but I try every day to make people feel good. I don’t do it for altruistic reasons but that doesn’t make me a douchebag. Making other people feel better makes me feel better and I don’t see a problem with that. You can call me a cynic, you can call me scatterbrained (because well, obviously) but I’m done entertaining the fact that I’m a bad dude.
P.S.- I’m only three posts in and I already see a trend in my writing. It starts out decent and then trails off because I lose interest and/or focus. It’s still early in this experiment but I’m already over talking about me. I think tomorrow I’ll try something even more abstract and not as self absorbed. Thanks for reading. I love you.
“Be good to yourself, you deserve it.” – Theo Von