Episode 135: Crowd of Lonelys

Like everyone else, Epstein is on the brain. Zack talks his self sabotaging ways and Dean opens up about not opening up in relationships.

Ugly God – Batman

SPIRIT XIII – Hubris

Check out the official video for “Hubris” on Spirit’s site here.

Tru Questions

I’ve learned that when it comes to talking to people about the the things that matter, the “hard hitting” questions, the “meat and potatoes”. Unless someone is aware of themselves or under the influence, they’re are not very forthcoming when it comes to personal information/details. It has taken me a long time to build what I think is enough self-confidence to hang my hat on. But over the years I got really good at dodging anything particularly personal and even better at getting people to open up about themselves and keeping the conversation off of me. Only recently, I’ve been having to actively try to open up more about me and be more vulnerable, to have more genuine experiences. But coming around that corner has helped me look back and have fun with catching people in the headlights of their “tru” questions. I say tru, cause I don’t really know. Who really does?! But being more comfortable in myself has helped me lean into asking people “realer” questions, because I feel like in some way I don’t have anything to hide and can wear it all on my sleeve. There’s an unspoken freedom in that. And it’s taken me a while to appreciate it and not feel like another average “black male misunderstood”. I think the point I’m really trying to make is sometimes it takes finesse to put smoke in a bottle. It’s a hard analogy to describe. But IYKYK. Sometimes you gotta take 3 rights to make a left. The bigger point. Bigger point??? Another point. Fair enough….Just continue to grow and be real with yourself and like Zack said, do some version of that “8 mile shit”. Wear it in your sleeve, own it. Take pride in your victories and know you are good enough. Also, am I a writer now?

Daily Blog #3

You know what, I just read my last post and I needed to defend myself (from myself). The blog name is going back to its original title. I’m not a douchebag. I call myself a douchebag as a defense tactic so it hurts less when other people say or think it. I use the “Eminem/ 8-mile method” of self-deprecation to be more likable but I need to stop. It’s phony. I’m a good fucking dude. I’m a good dude with integrity. I think the byproduct of having integrity is scary because sticking to your guns is uncomfortable at times- especially for other people. I’m a dude with strict boundaries and if you cross a boundary, I’ll let you know about it. Anyone who’s ever called me a douchebag or an asshole usually ended up exhibiting the same symptoms of assholishness they previously diagnosed me with.  Sure, I’ve been a dick before but who hasn’t? I’ve learned from my mistakes and I’ve taken those lessons to heart as I interact with people on a daily basis. I’m not perfect but I try every day to make people feel good. I don’t do it for altruistic reasons but that doesn’t make me a douchebag. Making other people feel better makes me feel better and I don’t see a problem with that. You can call me a cynic, you can call me scatterbrained (because well, obviously) but I’m done entertaining the fact that I’m a bad dude.

P.S.- I’m only three posts in and I already see a trend in my writing. It starts out decent and then trails off because I lose interest and/or focus. It’s still early in this experiment but I’m already over talking about me. I think tomorrow I’ll try something even more abstract and not as self absorbed. Thanks for reading. I love you.

“Be good to yourself, you deserve it.” – Theo Von

Take 11

Annnnnnddd Were Back! With one of our livest episodes to date. Recorded one day before release, Take 11 talks about some topical issues such as, the kid in the gorilla cage and the student raped at Stanford. We also discuss playoff basketball and free agency, the new workout culture, and some guilty pleasures.

(Recorded: 6/4/2016)

Claude Debussy – Menuet (Suite Bergamasque)

Claude Debussy – Claire De Lune, For Piano

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