Kendama

Shout out to Alan aka @trashbeatsalan for putting me on to Kendama. I’m by no means “all in”, but have developed a real fascination for it. It’s a pretty basic ball on a string, attached to a stick game, but there’s so much room for creativity. I like to compare it to skateboarding. The equipment is very simple, and the concept is easy to understand, yet people still make the possibilities seem boundless. From either flipping or spinning the board to just landing the ball in a cup or on a the spike.

I think what I really love about it and so many other niche things, is the learning curve from beginner to high level. If you don’t already know, I love to slack line. And I discovered it when I went to California earlier this year. From afar it seems to defy physics and almost looks mystical. And once I tried, I realized it was extremely harder then they made it look. But after trying for a few hours and buying one when I got back to Jacksonville, I became pretty proficient at it myself. I’m far from professional, but certainly competent at that skill.

It started when I was younger, and my dad was teaching me how to play different instruments. He would tell me, “If you have 10 fingers and they have 10 fingers, the only difference between you and them is time.” I understood what he meant at the time, but even more so now. Music was so easy to relate too because it’s something you can emulate exactly. I had favorite athletes, but as much as I wanted to be like them, I could never recreate their greatest moments. But with music, you can play the exact song played by the artist, note for note, in time and all. There is an objective benchmark.

The reason why I love the learning curve is because it teaches you that anything really is possible if you dedicate yourself to it. When you pick up a kendama, you barely know how to hold it, but you instinctively know to put the ball on the cup. At first your pull is everywhere, until you start to find patterns and see what works. Then you start to hone your attempts until you can generate some consistency. From there you try more and more tricks, slowly developing your skill. Like I’ve mentioned in other blogs, after doing this with a lot of different things, you get good at learning, and develop patience and discipline. Those skills can be applied to anything you want in life.

When I first saw people doing kendama, they were doing flips and spikes and swings and it seemed so far off it looked “impossible” even “pointless”. Sometimes just like our dreams and goals, they seem so advanced, it seems almost pointless to even try. But from trying and learning how to get good at small things like “Kendama and Slack line”, I feel like it mentally helps me take on big things like pursuing comedy and becoming a better person.

Here’s The Thing. Some people might see it as a pointless toy I’ve unnecessarily been keeping with me, but to me it’s a reminder that there’s always room to grow and learn, and most importantly to have FUN.

Episode 153: A Little Smells

The guys try to figure out how fetishes are fashioned. Dean talks about doing the most time he’s ever done on stage and Zack decides he’s going to be hot again. Pornstar pussy spray, midget fighting and 10-15 years of being a loser.

Bas – Purge

Bloc Party – Real Talk

Joker

Although I heard a lot of hate surrounding this movie, I thoroughly enjoyed it. The Joker usually compliments Batman as the crazed villain with a lacking backstory. This movie highlighted how someone could become the Joker and addresses the issue of mental illness at the same time. Just like Deadpool change the mold for raunchy superhero movies, I hope The Joker did too with this suspenseful thriller, as opposed to all action and catch phrases. He’s no Heath Ledger, but Joaquin Phoenix knocked it out of the park and the new joker is definitely “Relatable”.

I’m an Attention Whore…& That’s OK

One of my exes called me an attention whore because I posted a photo of myself in my sports bra to show off my results from the gym. “Guys like me don’t respect girls like you.” ~ Why I stayed after that is a whole other topic for discussion…

 

The attention whore comment was so cutting I deleted the photo…After he broke up with me – I was so damaged from months of similar comments that I believed them, and had to quit social media altogether. I couldn’t post any picture, of myself or of anything, without experiencing an overwhelming fear that he was right about me – I’m a whore for attention and everything I post is indicative of that. I’m a bad person.

 

SPOILER ALERT…I recovered and rose from the ashes of my broken heart like the fiery, majestic Phoenix I am. And here’s what I learned. 1. He was such a jerk (*insert Ariana Grande Thank u, Next**), but 2. He was right – I DO love attention. AND GUESS WHAT? – THAT IS OKAY. Why do we stigmatize admitting that we like attention so much? When we say someone just wants attention it has a negative connotation, when a child acts out or behaves poorly we jump to the conclusion that the child just wants attention – it’s associated with bad behavior from a young age. But craving attention is NOT a character flaw – it is simply human. We all want to be loved, and desired to some extent.

 

Of course there are unhealthy ways to seek validation from others (I’m a huge proponent of achieving validity through self) – but wanting attention doesn’t automatically make you a bad person. Wanting validation, love, respect, or to be seen in a positive light is natural even for the most self assured elites among us. I’m tired of people shaming others for wanting attention. You deserve to be seen, and heard. Again, how we seek attention is likely the issue behind the stigma – but there are VERY few people who go through their lives without needing this human connection.

 

Why else would solitary confinement be a punishment?

 

When people seek attention by making long, emotional & personal posts about something bad going on in their lives – yes, they’re looking for attention – but probably because they really do feel pretty shitty about the bad stuff happening to them. Should they struggle in silence instead so as not to appear like an ‘attention seeker’?

 

When people want to post about their accomplishments, I.e gym progress (yup, we’re circling back) – they’re looking for attention – because it doesn’t hurt to hear words of affirmation about something you worked really hard to achieve. You look/feel good? Then show it off sis! Don’t be ashamed to be you. Revel in the love and support you receive from others and your mental health will thank you for it.

 

PSA: My name is Jade and I love attention. This is not an AA meeting because well, loving attention is not a problem.

Words Suck

Every Thursday morning, I wake up and think about what I’m going to write about for this blog. I’ll come up with an outline or an idea, get all worked up and motivated to post it early (to get the most eyes on it) but inevitably, three sentences in, I can’t stand my own words. Cut to almost two hours before midnight and I’m scrambling to get something down that’s somewhat compelling. Maybe that’s what I’ll talk about this week. I love writing, but this week I’ll tell you why I hate it, why I think I’m not good at it and why words suck.

This shit’s hard. I mean, it’s easy to write…like just write down your thoughts, duh, but when I was growing up, school made writing so formulaic that it seemed like a chore. It made me hate it. I get that you need the basics. You should know how to spell, form sentences, and the difference between a colon and a semicolon (for some reason), but eventually writing and writing assessments got way too restrictive. The template was simple. You have a main point (thesis), three to four supporting paragraphs and then you wrap it all up at the end in a bow with a summary of your supporting paragraphs and how they related to your main point. There was no room for experimentation and certainly no room for humor. Maybe it’s just the teachers I had or the school system I was brought up in but it wasn’t until college that I actually got to experiment with writing.

I think I hate my writing now because I don’t think it adequately portrays me. I haven’t worked that muscle in my brain to be good enough to tell you all exactly what i’m thinking and I don’t yet have the ability to clearly spell out my perspective. I think I’m still too worried about the fact that people are reading this. I’ve gotta get over that.

This might be the weed typing but I also don’t think I think in words. **Definitely the weed typing**. But for real, I always say that I think language gets in the way and I really believe it. Words are great and all but that’s all they are. Words are inadequate. Dr. Albert Mehrabian (author of Silent Messages) agrees and found that only 7% of any message is conveyed through words. Yeah, writing might just suck. Who even reads books any more? Audiobooks don’t count and most fiction books are just as bad as sitcoms with laugh tracks, so they don’t count either. Writing is a dead medium and we all know it. If it’s not on Youtube, fuck off.

I’m not wrapping this up in a bow. You got what you paid for.