You’re Free to Associate

The clouds are heady, planted feet.

Her hands are steady, full of skeet.

I’m ready for you to notice me,

drinking irresponsibly,

I think you barely see.

Right…

I’m in for the night.

No text the next day,

No “hi”, no “hey”.

Been grounded, can’t come out to play.

Hit eject on the rhyme scheme,

yo this dude is weird.

Gold plated, purse sueded, double-team The Beard.

Glory’s faded, understated, at least you made it here.

Shit.

What’s a cadence?

I ain’t been straight since,

my fate was decided by a white fence.

Straddled it, no rattle, bitch.

Rates on them tits don’t tattle, bitch.

You’re a slave, bro.

You need some inspo?

Hit a rave, then abort the in vitro.

He moved on, expired like a coupon

Ex tired, been fired

Saturday’s for Jimmy Neutron.

Hi, I’m Paul,

take a Walker to the Wall,

break a John’s jaw just to watch Fall.

Fuuck.

That was pretty offensive.

Crayola turned pensive.

That’s a broken dish, can’t rinse it.

Imma poke a fish like a stick,

with a wishlist.

The joke is rich.

Pedantic dicks supplant ethics,

with a single bid.

Can’t lie, can’t trick, I was a Pringle’s kid.

Lays tried, brain’s fried, no cannibal.

Cold jokes all Burr, no Hannibal.

The only scratch I see is from an animal.

Old folks hatch dust and bust nuts,

at the hospital.

I’m almost done here.

Fixed chain, no spokes, I got one gear.

Head over handles,

bred as vandals.

Smelly sandals and scented candles.

El fin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Circle?

“Sometimes you gotta look at things from outside the box, to realize you are in a circle.” –Dean

Most people remember the first time they heard their voice recorded and not from inside their own head or remember seeing a picture of themselves as opposed to looking at themselves in the mirror. In that moment you realize that you aren’t quite what you thought you were, and that people might perceive you differently then what you let on.

Sometimes it takes a best friend to tell you that you are in a toxic relationship, to shake things up and make you look at your life in a different way. Sometimes it takes a manager looking over your shoulder to make you realize you can be more productive if you put away your phone. Sometimes it takes a training partner to highlight that one detail you might have been overlooking to really hone in your technique and get better. Sometimes it takes a psychedelic experience to make you realize what’s really important in life. No matter what the catalyst of change is, my advice is to be open to it and to constantly be aware that you can only perceive so much alone.

As soon as you feel you have it all figured out, you limit yourself to the new possibilities that can expand your understanding. LeBron James has a trainer, Elon Musk has advisors, employees have managers, and all of us have friends, family, and loved ones. From the best in the world to the “extra” ordinary, everyone needs that external force to push them past what they thought was possible, encourage them when they don’t believe in themselves, or give perspective they might have never considered.

Check this out!

So there’s a portion of Your Friends Favorite Podcast that has really grown on me. It’s a section I call “Highly Recommended”. I didn’t know why I liked it so much until I heard Kevin Hart talk about his passions on The Joe Rogan Experience. I used to think that a friends recommendation, whether it be a movie, restaurant, song, vacation spot, relationship advice, etc. was an extension of them. And to write off or ignore a recommendation felt almost like I was slighting them. Everyone knows the feeling of being really excited about a movie, song or show and going to tell your friend about it, then checking on them the next day or in a week only to find out they didn’t check it out. I want to live the best and happiest life I can, and I, as only one man, can only experience so much. And as I look back, I’ve done and witnessed a lot of amazing things and wasted my time doing many things that were less than stellar. I like to look at my friends as curators to the world, and filters of experience. If you are my friend, then I value your opinion, and if you recommend something, I feel like you enjoyed it. I know that you filtered out all the BS to something that you believe others will enjoy too. In fewer words, a recommendation is like someone’s Instagram. You don’t see the bad times, you get the highlight reel of their life. They found their good side, filtered out all the bad lighting, cropped out their ex, and present to the world their best selves. So the next time someone recommends something to you, don’t take it as a chore to accomplish, but as an opportunity to skip the BS and get right to the good stuff.

DB #2

I’m frantically typing this at work as the last few minutes of my unpaid lunch break expire. I’ve tried not to put too much thought in writing a blog because honestly I think blogs are lame but this was all I could think about this morning. What should I say? What should my point of view be? Why do questions in writings almost always come in threes? I’m not a writer but I so desperately want to be…so this is me doing that. I try to write jokes because in my brain it’s less pretentious than writing something that is self reflective. Even as I typed out that last sentence my brain said, “But great jokes are self reflective if you really think about it.” Fucking douche. Speaking of douche, I’m renaming the blog “DB”. It’s a play on words (or letters) that could mean “Daily Blog” or “Douche Bag”. I don’t really think I’m a douche bag but I do think that’s how I’m perceived so it’s not really up to me, is it? I’m jumping around a lot here but that’s kind of the point. I’ll get better at putting more cohesive thoughts and ideas together as I do more of these but I think it’s important that you all see how shitty I was at the beginning of this thing and then scroll to the point where you might actually get something out of my daily ramblings. I’m just about at the 250 word mark so I’ll keep typing for another second and leave you with my thoughts for today. Bye.