I’m at an age where I seem to be getting more and more “life” advice. I was recently told that your 20’s are for learning about yourself, your 30’s are for grinding, and your 40’s are for enjoying it all. I liked the format, but it got me thinking about enjoying it all. I get that you have to work hard to play hard. But I want to play now. That’s why I thought I was getting a head start by trying to go into my grinding phase here in my late 20’s. I never liked how people had this idea of retiring when they are old. Why would you save all this money, to be too old to truly enjoy it. Take trips, be adventurous. I’m sure I have a “young mans” view of this. But I want to live life to the fullest, while I still have all my faculties to do so.

So I’ve started “grinding” to get ahead of the curve. I’ve been working everyday for the last month and a half now. No days off, working 2 jobs, getting on stage, going to the gym. But goddamn is it always on. I feel like I’m always thinking of my next move, without fully engaging in my current one. I need to take a step back and smell the roses.

So I took “a” morning shift off 😂🤷🏾‍♂️. I know it’s not a true rest day, since I still work 7 days a week. But it’s a start, and enough for me to get my head above water, and enjoy the waves, before I catch the next.

When I was growing up, I never liked the concept of work. I understood it, but always wondered why I couldn’t just get paid for being me. That’s what I “thought” a celebrity was. A person who was paid to be a walking billboard. But through comedy I think I found a way to actualize that dream. I can work on becoming the truest version of myself, and with success can eventually never “work” another day again.

Here’s The Thing. Life is about balance. And everyone has a different fulcrum point. Right not I feel like I’m playing see-saw by myself. But I know in time, I’ll feel like the blind scale of Lady Justice.

I’ve been wanting to write about this one for a while but haven’t felt the motivation after the spark. But I’ve been sick lately, and I have not been feeling myself.

Aside from the normal not being able to breathe and the constant headache, I’ve been in a heavy fog. I’ve felt drained of energy, lack my usual enthusiasm, and have had an ominous negative feeling hovering around. I used to think I was really in tune with my body and how it felt, but now I feel like it couldn’t be farther from the truth.

After talking to my mom, she asked if I had been drinking enough water and sleeping well. Both of which were a no. I’ve been trying to “do so much” with my time that I had overlooked those 2 important things. I can’t say that’s the reason, but it certainly hasn’t helped how I feel.

My original post was gonna be about getting in shape, and getting your body in a healthy place, so that you can have better mental health. Kind of in relation to overweight and unhealthy people having negative thoughts or world views. I know that when I’m in this fog, everything seems like so much more of a burden, like I can physically feel the weight of each thought and action. In this state it’s easy to lash out or blame others, but when I feel healthy, that fog is lifted and I feel free to move through this life untethered.

Here’s The Thing. I considered not doing this anymore. A lot lately. But I like to think that this is just temporary, and think when I’m out of this fog everything will be ok. It might not, I get that, but at least I would know that it wasn’t my health affecting my decisions. The same for mental health for unhealthy people. Get it shape for your own sake, and it might be possible you still feel the same way, but at least you’ll know for sure.