The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it…

-Maya Angelou

This quote is scary, because it’s so relatably true. I think everyone has an understanding of “settling”, but as we look at our own lives we can be the best lawyers of ourselves and the best judges of others. Meaning, we can make excuses for ourselves and defend our actions, justifying the things we do, much easier then we can for others. When we look at others we are much more objective and tend to overlook the nuances and subtleties we give ourselves credit for.

I say that to frame the question, “what is the balance of waiting for THE ONE or working through it?” I referenced this conversation in my last the post. A lot of people are afraid to “settle”, thinking that somehow they have sold themselves short and deserve more. These same people often never find someone who meets their standard, and it made me think about relationships in a weird way.

Granted, I am writing from the perspective of a single man, who isn’t in love or feel like they’ve found the one. So I do feel like my opinion will change when/if I do find the one for me. But is it better to find someone that is 70% or even 90% of your standard and grow and develop with them, or to stay true to yourself and wait for the perfect someone to exceed your standards?

On one hand I want to be rational and think that the chances are very low that you meet the “perfect” person. And if so, if you would even be the perfect person for them. For example I’m sure a lot of women see Brad Pitt as a great catch, but to Brad Pitt, he might not see all those women in the same light. So I would think there would have to be some sort of compromise from both sides to find mutual peace.

But on the other hand, why would you ever sell yourself short? Why settle? Life is too short. I think having the confidence in yourself to know your worth is a special trait as well. You certainly take the risk of living life alone, but with great risk comes great reward. “Holding out” or not settling could help you build the character and confidence to know exactly what you want, and take advantage of the opportunity when it presents itself. And maybe I’m a romantic, but I feel like there would be no better feeling then knowing you found THE ONE.

I understand that all relationships take work, whether they are the one or not. So this isn’t to say if there’s friction then dip. But it does mean not ignoring read flags and not compromising your morals or ways of life. Some people need a clean home or to be told they are loved or like to watch the game. If your partner doesn’t mesh with those ideas and you feel a bit of resentment in changing, then that might be the compromise that would be considered settling. Although, I do feel growing and changing together is very powerful. For instance, a guy who is naturally disorganized getting with a girl who is very neat, could certainly benefit the both of them. With him learning to straighten up after himself and her possibly learning to loosen up a bit more. Sometimes those experiences can strengthen a bond and really galvanize a relationship.

Here’s The Thing, should you work through it or wait for the one? I don’t know. But it’s certainly something to think about. If you’re single, let me know about some past relationships and what you think. If you are in a relationship, let me know if they are the one or you “settled” and what you think. As always, Stay Relatable!

With 2019 coming to an end, we are one year closer to depleting our planet of its precious resources. Topics like climate change and renewable resources have entered debates and people are starting to become more aware of their carbon/environmental footprint.

People are recycling, making a conscious effort not to support certain businesses, and even buying cars all with the longevity of the planet in mind. People are slowly accepting that the earth is a finite resource and making decisions that will place as little impact on its ecosystem as possible.

I say that to say this. I feel like people are slowly starting to acknowledge their emotional footprint as well. Understanding how much of an impact their actions can have on others and future generations down the line.

I know that part of the reason I want to be a good and better person is because I don’t want to have a high emotional footprint. I have definitely done some bad things in my past; cheated, hooked up with people in relationships, lied, etc. But as an older man I can see how those actions have a trickle effect on people later in life, affecting the decisions they make, partners they choose, how they treat people, and even how they raise their kids.

I don’t want my legacy or lasting memory to be a negative one. I feel like the most extreme of these cases are of coarse death, whether accidental or intentional. The rationalization of it and the people it leaves behind. Or abuse, sexual, physical, emotional, etc. Acts like these effect people’s lives in ways that cause generational ripples in behavior.

I want to have a positive emotional footprint. I want to be a catalyst to be a better person, for the sake of doing the “right” thing. I want to pay it forward, not for karma, but because I can. It’s something I’ve had to work on as I grew up and matured. But I have a problem with giving when I can and not saving when I need to. I’m happy to help family and friends, even strangers in need when I have the means to do so. And I think that piggybacks on my last post about life being hard hard.

Here’s The Thing. I just want to bring the thought of an emotional footprint to your consciousness. The more aware people are of this, the more we can do to Live this life, and less Survive it.

The same way we are taking steps to save our planet, we can a apply to our lives (rough metaphor). Consider recycling people instead of throwing them away, talk to them and have mature emotional conversations that can salvage a relationship, as opposed to calling any friction in your life, toxic energy. Just like we are making the transition off of fossil fuels to renewable resources, hold yourself accountable to the truth, no white lies, and gain energy from a cleaner fuel, as opposed to bending the truth to “get by”.

My dad used to always tell me, “to leave things better than I found them.” From cleaning up after myself when I go places, to picking up others trash, it planted a seed for me to leave a positive Emotional Footprint.