Being single this summer has forced me to spend some time looking inward. I started asking myself why I’ve spent so much time in and out of relationships, and I rarely stay single for more than six months at a time (if that). It’s strange because people who know me tend to describe me as this free spirit, the girl who does what she wants and can’t be controlled. I’m not the kind of person who depends on a relationship for safety or security – yet I find myself always in one? Why?
Because I’m fucking high demand that’s why. Grade A, bomb ass P………..KIDDING.
I think it’s because I’m such an extrovert and I’m always meeting new people and having an amazing time (PG answer 😊). Then I connect with someone, we like each other, and over time it becomes the next step that just makes the most sense despite the red flags. So far that obviously hasn’t worked out for me – my longest relationship has been with my cat (6 years strong baby).
So instead, I’m consciously choosing to enjoy this me (and cat) time. My old skool aunt would tell you that at 27, I’m being “too picky”, and she asked me to point her to the mystical land of Mr Perfects when I find it. I’m not searching for perfect. I’m searching for myself (what a millennial line). There are things that I thought I wanted out of life, but by being with myself this summer alone, I realized that I don’t want those things. I don’t want to have kids, I don’t want to move back home to settle down anymore. I don’t want to settle down at all, until my joints hurt and I can’t walk. This isn’t to say I’m opposed to fully sharing my life with someone else again, it just can’t be because it’s the “next step” to stay in each other’s lives.
Working on that…that’s the next step in my relationship with me.
So there’s a portion of Your Friends Favorite Podcast that has really grown on me. It’s a section I call “Highly Recommended”. I didn’t know why I liked it so much until I heard Kevin Hart talk about his passions on The Joe Rogan Experience. I used to think that a friends recommendation, whether it be a movie, restaurant, song, vacation spot, relationship advice, etc. was an extension of them. And to write off or ignore a recommendation felt almost like I was slighting them. Everyone knows the feeling of being really excited about a movie, song or show and going to tell your friend about it, then checking on them the next day or in a week only to find out they didn’t check it out. I want to live the best and happiest life I can, and I, as only one man, can only experience so much. And as I look back, I’ve done and witnessed a lot of amazing things and wasted my time doing many things that were less than stellar. I like to look at my friends as curators to the world, and filters of experience. If you are my friend, then I value your opinion, and if you recommend something, I feel like you enjoyed it. I know that you filtered out all the BS to something that you believe others will enjoy too. In fewer words, a recommendation is like someone’s Instagram. You don’t see the bad times, you get the highlight reel of their life. They found their good side, filtered out all the bad lighting, cropped out their ex, and present to the world their best selves. So the next time someone recommends something to you, don’t take it as a chore to accomplish, but as an opportunity to skip the BS and get right to the good stuff.
Podcast producer, Trina Ang, stopped by the studio to give the guys a little estrogenic insight. Relationships, mental health in football, Pleasure Town, marijuana, MMA, GOT and a helluva lot more. You don’t want to miss this one. Please like, share, subscribe and as always, Stay Relatable!