I’m an Attention Whore…& That’s OK

One of my exes called me an attention whore because I posted a photo of myself in my sports bra to show off my results from the gym. “Guys like me don’t respect girls like you.” ~ Why I stayed after that is a whole other topic for discussion…

 

The attention whore comment was so cutting I deleted the photo…After he broke up with me – I was so damaged from months of similar comments that I believed them, and had to quit social media altogether. I couldn’t post any picture, of myself or of anything, without experiencing an overwhelming fear that he was right about me – I’m a whore for attention and everything I post is indicative of that. I’m a bad person.

 

SPOILER ALERT…I recovered and rose from the ashes of my broken heart like the fiery, majestic Phoenix I am. And here’s what I learned. 1. He was such a jerk (*insert Ariana Grande Thank u, Next**), but 2. He was right – I DO love attention. AND GUESS WHAT? – THAT IS OKAY. Why do we stigmatize admitting that we like attention so much? When we say someone just wants attention it has a negative connotation, when a child acts out or behaves poorly we jump to the conclusion that the child just wants attention – it’s associated with bad behavior from a young age. But craving attention is NOT a character flaw – it is simply human. We all want to be loved, and desired to some extent.

 

Of course there are unhealthy ways to seek validation from others (I’m a huge proponent of achieving validity through self) – but wanting attention doesn’t automatically make you a bad person. Wanting validation, love, respect, or to be seen in a positive light is natural even for the most self assured elites among us. I’m tired of people shaming others for wanting attention. You deserve to be seen, and heard. Again, how we seek attention is likely the issue behind the stigma – but there are VERY few people who go through their lives without needing this human connection.

 

Why else would solitary confinement be a punishment?

 

When people seek attention by making long, emotional & personal posts about something bad going on in their lives – yes, they’re looking for attention – but probably because they really do feel pretty shitty about the bad stuff happening to them. Should they struggle in silence instead so as not to appear like an ‘attention seeker’?

 

When people want to post about their accomplishments, I.e gym progress (yup, we’re circling back) – they’re looking for attention – because it doesn’t hurt to hear words of affirmation about something you worked really hard to achieve. You look/feel good? Then show it off sis! Don’t be ashamed to be you. Revel in the love and support you receive from others and your mental health will thank you for it.

 

PSA: My name is Jade and I love attention. This is not an AA meeting because well, loving attention is not a problem.

Episode 147: Merit (the app)

The guys come up with a new idea for a social media app, get real vulnerable about crying and catch up since last week’s guest episode.

bbno$ – Shining On My Ex (feat. Yung Gravy)

Kanye West – Use This Gospel

 

Social Media Holidays

When I was growing up (just like almost every other kid), my parents, grandparents, friends and coaches would all take pictures. Most kids can find a photo album of them doing everything from playing at the beach, to opening Christmas presents.

But at some point around middle or high school, the pictures stopped. At least for me, anyway. I’ve always had a weird thing about being in the moment and present, and taking out a camera always killed that for me. I was never opposed to group photos or pictures, but I grew away from stopping the moment to capture the moment.

With the internet and social media, content is king, and if it’s not text, audio, video, or picture, it doesn’t exist. From taking pictures of food to girls doing cooking tutorials in just a bikini, the internet has a place for everything.

This past weekend was Father’s Day, and social media was flooded with girls posting their wedding pictures with dad, boats days with dad, and food posts from fathers saying they are the luckiest man alive. To me, these moments and holidays are intimate- they are to be spent with the ones around you and cherished. But there are a few holidays that are poised for social media, and if played right could certainly add to your “clout”.

In the realm of holidays some are more powerful than others, with the 4 horsemen being; Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, The 4thof July, and New Year’s Eve. These are what I consider “social media holidays”, where one is compelled to show the world they do/did in fact have parents and weren’t born in a lab. There’s the 4th, a day where the hashtag #SunsOutBunsOut is pushed to the absolute limit and who can forget New Year’s Eve, the holiday with the most creative captions, usually consisting of song lyrics (most likely Drake) or squad/couple goals.

Honorable mentions of “social media” holidays include Halloween and Valentine’s Day for the thirst traps and the “forever loves”. There is no real point to make here, just the observation, that with theses changing times, the times they are a changing. What if there was a Social Media Day, where we celebrated clean airspace, free of radio waves or Wi-Fi? Idk, Just a Thought.

Check this out!

So there’s a portion of Your Friends Favorite Podcast that has really grown on me. It’s a section I call “Highly Recommended”. I didn’t know why I liked it so much until I heard Kevin Hart talk about his passions on The Joe Rogan Experience. I used to think that a friends recommendation, whether it be a movie, restaurant, song, vacation spot, relationship advice, etc. was an extension of them. And to write off or ignore a recommendation felt almost like I was slighting them. Everyone knows the feeling of being really excited about a movie, song or show and going to tell your friend about it, then checking on them the next day or in a week only to find out they didn’t check it out. I want to live the best and happiest life I can, and I, as only one man, can only experience so much. And as I look back, I’ve done and witnessed a lot of amazing things and wasted my time doing many things that were less than stellar. I like to look at my friends as curators to the world, and filters of experience. If you are my friend, then I value your opinion, and if you recommend something, I feel like you enjoyed it. I know that you filtered out all the BS to something that you believe others will enjoy too. In fewer words, a recommendation is like someone’s Instagram. You don’t see the bad times, you get the highlight reel of their life. They found their good side, filtered out all the bad lighting, cropped out their ex, and present to the world their best selves. So the next time someone recommends something to you, don’t take it as a chore to accomplish, but as an opportunity to skip the BS and get right to the good stuff.