Category: Here’s The Thing

Maybe it’s cause I’m black, but I’ve always had rhythm. I mean, as long as I can remember, I’ve had somewhat of a soundtrack to my life. I know I got it from my dad. He always seemed like he had a spiritual connection with music. From how he listened, what he heard, and even how he played. Ive never seen him dance tho, till this day. We used to listen to music, and he would ask me things like, “how many instruments do you hear? What’s the bass line? Do you hear that?”. He used to listen to music on almost mute, cause he said it would make you listen harder and appreciate the music. I say that, to say this.

Whether it was jamming’ the oldies on car rides with my parents growing up, or hype songs in the locker room, or love songs in middle school (what a time). I’ve always been able to associate memories with music and emotions. I always have a song playing in my head. Whether it’s the latest top 40 hit, or some acoustic song I heard in a movie. I say THAT, to say this.

I’m not sure what comes first, or if it’s a case if the chicken and the egg. But not only do I associate music with memories and emotions. But I can use music to change or set my mood as well. There’s nothing like waking up on a weekend, putting on an album, and starting your day off in a groove. It’s also always a nice refresher to change the genre of music that you listen to. So if you normally listen to rap, try listening to reggae or r&b. There’s usually a shift in the message and can help get you out of a rut in your thinking or habits.

Takeaways: Dance like no one is watching and don’t be afraid to mix it up every once in a while.

As a younger man I used to crave the friction of life. It was the tactile sensation that came from living. It was the soreness you feel after you worked out or the discomfort of trying something new. I embraced the unknown and the friction that would surely follow.

As I grew, I started to ween out of these thoughts and into the comfort of “good is easy” and “if it was meant to be, it would” and “go with the flow”.

I recently performed at my first paid comedy show, and I felt the friction. I felt the anxiety, the fear, the suspense. I felt all of it. And in hindsight I can say, I loved it. In hindsight, I can see it is what I need to grow and become not only a better comic, but a better person. In the moment, I felt the uncertainty. Until that moment, it was all unicorns and rainbows. Open mics and showcases, and it all felt like it was falling into place. It felt like I was a natural. But that night was something new. It was new people, new room, new town, new pressure. It was no longer an open mic, with little to no stakes. This was a show, that people paid good money to come be entertained. It forced me to accept certain truths and address my reality. The reality that, this life I envision for myself, will be unforgiving, exhausting, and sometimes unbearable. But that’s just the friction that comes from really living.

I still love the song “Smooth Sailin’ Tonight” by The Isley Brothers. But at this point in my life, I think I more favor the quote “smooth seas don’t make good sailors”. It’s the friction that sparks growth and the friction that builds character. I’m not exactly sure what the point is, but embrace the suck!

I felt inspired by Jade’s last post to write something that felt more personal or that really helped me develop into the man I am today. This post is not meant to offend or poke holes, just to express how I feel, at this point in my life.

I grew up religious; church on Sundays, bible study on Wednesdays, sometimes even events on Thursdays. I’ve been to mega churches, I’ve been to traveling churches, I’ve even been to historically black churches where Martin Luther King Jr. preached. I think I say that to qualify that I am no longer religious and closer to agnostic (I’m not sure I even know how to use that word correctly anymore). Both my parents still go to church regularly and I still find benefit in religion.

I came to the realization, as a child, that praying was really just talking to yourself. And I saw religion as a way create a framework in which to answer the questions you would inevitably ask. Teaching you a “good” consciousness to mediate your impulsive human ideas i.e. The 10 Commandments. I think it is logical to conclude that you shouldn’t kill or hurt people, but to root it in religion is to ground it to something higher than one’s self, giving it an even deeper meaning than the obvious.

I say all of that to get to my ultimate point. That is that I believe everyone is the god of their own universe. When you pray or meditate or daydream, you are talking to yourself. The same way that only you can tell the future, and that is by speaking it into existence. Not literally, like in the bible. But if I say I want to do stand-up comedy, only I have the control to either will it to be or not. I think a better example is the phrase, “Where there’s a Will, there’s a Way”. Everyone has heard a story of someone coming out of poverty to change their conditions, and is now successful. Whether it was hanging out with a different group of friends, waking up early to study or go workout, or working 4 jobs to make ends meet. They found a way. God sacrificed his only son, so that we may prosper. So many times, you hear people say they don’t have time or are too tired. As God of your own universe, you may have to sacrifice sleep to get to where you want, sometimes you might have to sacrifice friends, or sacrifice certain foods, or whatever, but that control lies within you. What I mean by the title, is that you have control over ‘almost everything” in your life (I’m sorry Trump got elected lol). From the relationships YOU tolerate, to the food YOU eat, to the way YOU look, to where YOU are in life.

I realized this young, but it took me a while to learn how to practice this in my own life. It was empowering to know that the only thing between me and my goals is my will and my willingness to make the necessary sacrifices to get there.

I want to give a huge thanks to Jade, who inspires me to stay focused on my goals and shines as a Tru example that “You are the God of your own universe!”