Category: Podcast

The Business of Humanity

by The Relatables, posted in Podcast

I hope the title made you think, “damn this kid is a wordsmith!” And if not, you won’t be disappointed.

Woke Culture is among us and I think it’s a good thing. People are starting to look toward the bigger picture; global warming, gender fluidity, equality. People are having conversations they might not have considered or are exploring ideas they might never have looked at. With this newfound knowledge, people are taking more ownership of their decisions, and holding others more accountable.

The connection I’m trying to make is we’ve gotten so connected through the internet that there is almost like a global consciousness. Businesses are acting like individuals, even given some rights as such. But one interesting thing about business is it strives to survive and protect itself, whether it’s for profit and innovation or other means.

I think before people were more disconnected and didn’t have anything to invest in, especially in issues that weren’t personal or close to their own. With the internet, everyone is aware and can take stock in the collective of humanity. It’s like we are all small business owners who know if we allow racism, it’s like someone stealing at your job. We all are moving forward as a humanity to survive and protect ourselves while trying understand things like nuclear energy and our impact on our planet.

The point is, everyone plays a role in making the world a better place. If humanity was your small upstart, self-employed business, who would you hire? How would you operate? What would you sell?

Conserve Your Judgement

by The Relatables, posted in Podcast

I’ve heard that CA is where liberals go to die.  I thought I had the liberal political scale thing figured out (I’m a Poli Sci major, w00t)…until I came to California. There are outrageous gas prices, ridiculous income taxes, third highest homelessness rate in the United States, 1st and 3rd worst traffic in the nation …The fact that I can’t expect to pay less than $1,500 to land a semi decent studio can get under my skin sometimes. Ok, all the time. But none of that is why my libertard brain was jarred. At LA Pride this past weekend, I saw a vivid culture promoting love for all, no matter who you are or what you choose to be (beautiful concept!). But there I was, thinking I didn’t belong because I’m a “straight” chick, in a crowd full of LGBQT’s. I had to remind myself that my every day, around a majority of hetero people, is also their every day. And then I asked myself, what even is this ‘my’ vs ‘their’ lingo. We’re all in this. It is actually our every day. Their fight is our fight. All this is just to say, it is incredibly eye opening to have your perceived open mindedness challenged from time to time – and better yet, to be given the opportunity to correct your behavior to line with your expanding convictions. Life has a fantastic way of always reminding us that the only thing we know for sure, is that we know nothing at all.

Still, fuck these gas prices though.

Sleep on It

by The Relatables, posted in Podcast

I was trying to get this done before the melatonin started to hit. I think it’s too late. I Googled “Why is my brain in a fog” today and wasn’t surprised at the results. It was so obvious that I laughed out loud. I mean, obviously if you don’t get enough sleep and aren’t eating adequately, you tend to get a little spacey. It’s so funny to think about how smart I think I am and then when I actually examine my behaviors, they clearly aren’t those of an intelligent person. I don’t know. Melatonin gotta nilla* wafered, nawmeen? I’m out. I hope Kawhi and Drake get the win tonight. We’ll see in the morning.

 

*nilla– a term coined by the comedian Andrew Shultz close in meaning to the slang African-American “n-word” referring to one’s confidant or compadre

ie. “I was pulling out of work yesterday and this nilla in a turtleneck totally cut me off.”

Firin’ From the Hip

by The Relatables, posted in Podcast

I’d apologize for my absence but I know you didn’t miss me. I’ve got 9 minutes to pump out this bad boy so let me just fill you in a little about what my brain’s been buzzing’ on and then I’ll hit the sack…and then go to bed. Hiyo! I was going to make an excuse for why I haven’t written in a while but even I rolled my eyes at it. I’ve just been lazy. There’s no way around it. I’ve also been a little bit on the unhinged side of the cabinet. Yesterday I bitched out a kid who tried to commit suicide through Instagram DM’s. It’s weird though because I don’t even feel that bad about it. This kid is a good dude, a smart dude but he just annoys the shit out of me. He complains and bitches and moans and groans to a point that’s intolerable. Most of his wounds are self inflicted yet he still seems to find the worse in everything that anyone creates or puts out. I’m a little drunk and trying to be somewhat protective of his identity but I think you kind of get the gist of what kind of person he is. It’s the dude who shits on everything and thinks he’s smarter and more aware than everyone. Anywho, apparently he tried to kill himself by O.D.’ing and then he made an Instagram post telling everyone about it and how it lead to him taking a sabbatical from his podcast. It was a real “Facebook Folly” (because Facebook owns Instagram). I have no idea why but it just rubbed me the wrong way. It just seemed like he did it and then told everyone about it to get attention, then he got all snarky with me when I was trying to reach out. I thought about it a little today and realized why I got so cunty. I still think what I said was justified and stuff he needed someone to tell him but the reason I got so personal is because I think we’re similar in a lot of ways. Honestly, I don’t really know this person, we’re just acquaintances from high school but he annoys me because when I hear him talk he reminds me too much of myself. I’m cynical and tear shit down without knowing what went in to making it or trying to think from another person’s perspective. I think most of us get annoyed when we see people exhibit the same characteristics we don’t like about ourselves. I’m not saying anything new here and I’m kind of getting into the weeds so I’ll just cut it off here. I’ll be back tomorrow.

Sugar Friends

by The Relatables, posted in Podcast

I have a new app idea, where you go mobile to find girlfriends who have sugar daddies – and those girlfriends invite you out to hang with them and their glucose guardians. The point? Well, you reap some awesome sugar benefits without any strings attached! You heard it here first. I’m calling it Sugar Friends. The other night I went to LA (I live in Orange County) to meet up with my girl visiting from Georgia, and she brought along her met online fructose parent. I have honestly never seen one of these sucrose fathers in action, in the flesh…so when he started pulling wads of cash out to pay for everything our hearts desired I was unnecessarily shook. I’d even try to order my own dignified independent girl drink, and then he’d swoop in and take care of the tab while also wooing the female bartenders with overly healthy tips. It felt awkward at first, getting taken care of this damn much, as just the friend of the levulose child (sugar baby synonym, keep up with me!)…but eventually I got drunk and the cares stopped forming. It was a fantastic place to be. I’m just not into the concept enough to full on commit to a real one (I know, no one’s putting a gun to my head and forcing me to either, I’m just having a conversation here). I don’t have disrespect for people who thrive on these arrangements, as long as no one is getting hurt. Pride is a powerful imaginary force – A tradeoff I haven’t been able to forgo when it comes to strutting my independence. My dad (my real dad guys not a xylose one!), randomly told me once, like Rhonda Rousey said, “don’t be a do-nothing bitch”. There’s a lot of things he’s taught me that I’ve held onto like flies on shit…and this is one of them. Don’t be a do-nothing bitch. Rhonda’s speech explaining what a DNB is went like this:

“A kind of chick that just tries to be pretty and be taken care of by somebody else. That’s why I think it’s hilarious when people say my body looks masculine or something like that. Listen, just because my body was developed for a purpose other than f—ing millionaires, doesn’t mean it’s masculine. I think it’s femininely badass as f— because there’s not a single muscle in my body that isn’t for a purpose. Because I’m not a do-nothing bitch.”

In the end, I think life is just about balance. I tend to remain moderately firm in my convictions because I’m flexible when it comes to change and the evolution of circumstances. In LA that day, I was taken care of and I had the kind of time I’m still buzzing from days later. Back in Orange County today, I’m back to taking care of myself. Extremes are easy. Strive for balance.