Back Dated

I’m a day late, but never a story short. Hence the title. But I kept trying to think of something of substance to write about this week until the final hour, and I fucked around, like Lamar Odom at All-Star Weekend.

Earlier this year I read David Goggin’s book Can’t Hurt Me. Well, I listened to the audiobook but same difference. But he mentions something in there about the difference between motivation and drive. As I made some changes in my life, I’ve noticed the things that have driven me and the things that have motivated me.

I’ve been motivated, like everyone else, to do a lot of things in my life. To get in shape, to “get this bread,” to chase my dreams. I’ve also been driven to do many others, like pursue comedy and be true to myself.

He describes motivation as a spark of inspiration, usually lasting a couple of weeks. Then drifting away, like the books you were going to read or the diet you were going to stick to. But one thing he highlights is that motivation is like an adrenaline dump, and after it’s gone you’re left with pure will.

The will to do or to not.

Drive usually results in a lifestyle change and the effects last much longer than motivation.

There is a lot of grey area in the space between motivation and drive. And in this space we usually find ourselves faced with the question to challenge ourselves to the unknown or to welcome back the familiar.

He advises to look for things that drive you. I like to think of it as motivation being a pushing force, that when it’s behind you can force you to do things you wouldn’t before, but when that push is gone, the struggle falls back on you. I describe drive, on the other hand, as a pull. A force that draws you to it, like a siren to the rocks, or a moth to a light. It’s an incessant desire for a certain dream or person or place. Motivation is deciding to fight, and Drive is the plan you have after you get hit. Eh, works for me. But my point is find the things in life that drive you, whether it’s to a pursuit of happiness, or betterment, or just cause. Where there is a will, there is a way.

Episode 125: Favorite Jerker

The guys discuss when parent’s should go “all-in” on their professional gamer, talk comedy and discover that single women are happier (according to SCIENTIFIC findings). Dean gives his number (his sex number) and NBA playoff predictions are made.

Chance the Rapper ft. TisaKorean & Murda Beatz – GRoCERIES

Jonah Yano, BADBADNOTGOOD – nervous

Learn how to Learn

My mom had a saying that I’m pretty sure she made up, but it has always stuck with me. I even have it written on my wall.

“The best at getting better” -Mom

It’s a really simple, and very humble way to approach progress. I’ve always wanted to be a jack of all trades, be open to all possibilities, and try everything. When I was younger, I used to call myself “The Natural” (on video games lol). But it had to do with that fact that I pick up on things quickly. The more things I try and the more things I learn, the better I get at trying and learning new things. I’ve learned how to learn. Looking back on school, I’ve tried to think about it more as learning how to learn, than learning what you need to know. Of course there are things you learn in school that you need to know, but I feel the majority of what you do is learn how to learn, that way when you do find something you are passionate or interested in you have the tools to get better at it. Learning how to problem solve, how to research, how to work with others- those are all basic skills you need to get better at anything in life. Changing my perspective to appreciate that fact has helped me become better at getting better, because I understand the process and what it takes to get better, at anything…whether it’s slack line, comedy, relationships, or running.

Quality Time

IMG_5840

I’m in Ecuador right now, making it the 10th country I have visited since I started traveling at 18. I actually stopped for a few years, but when my mom died in 2016, it awoke in me the passion to make sure I do the things I want to do now- so I visited 8 of those 10 countries in just the last 3 years. My mom always talked about wanting to go to Spain but early onset Alzheimer’s disease, a sickness that locks its sufferers in hell and pushes families in trenches of cyclical grieve, had an entirely different plan. The month after she left us, in September 2016, I landed in Spain on the day of her birthday…and I cried. I cried because I felt her presence with me. I felt like she was seeing Spain through my eyes and thereby receiving her wish, but I also wasn’t sure when the next time I would feel that close to my mother again would be. I can still remember the last time I physically held her on August 18th. At the end of the trip I cried again because I realized more than ever that you cannot run away from your problems. No matter the distance between you and it, they travel with you too. I never felt that lesson as heavily as I did then, but the amount of beautiful closeness and closure I feel to and from my mama whenever I travel now is unmatched. Boarding a plane to see the vastness of the earth reminds me how small I am and yet how impactful her time here was at the same time. I want to show her how she raised her little girl to be fearless, unwavering, and adventurous. I want my mom to know that her time wasn’t determined by a horrible disease she did not choose, but by how her love, compassion, and joy will radiate in everything she touched, and will continue to touch as long as I’m here. She lives in my heart, and we live in my travels together.

Te echo de menos, mama.

You’re Free to Associate

The clouds are heady, planted feet.

Her hands are steady, full of skeet.

I’m ready for you to notice me,

drinking irresponsibly,

I think you barely see.

Right…

I’m in for the night.

No text the next day,

No “hi”, no “hey”.

Been grounded, can’t come out to play.

Hit eject on the rhyme scheme,

yo this dude is weird.

Gold plated, purse sueded, double-team The Beard.

Glory’s faded, understated, at least you made it here.

Shit.

What’s a cadence?

I ain’t been straight since,

my fate was decided by a white fence.

Straddled it, no rattle, bitch.

Rates on them tits don’t tattle, bitch.

You’re a slave, bro.

You need some inspo?

Hit a rave, then abort the in vitro.

He moved on, expired like a coupon

Ex tired, been fired

Saturday’s for Jimmy Neutron.

Hi, I’m Paul,

take a Walker to the Wall,

break a John’s jaw just to watch Fall.

Fuuck.

That was pretty offensive.

Crayola turned pensive.

That’s a broken dish, can’t rinse it.

Imma poke a fish like a stick,

with a wishlist.

The joke is rich.

Pedantic dicks supplant ethics,

with a single bid.

Can’t lie, can’t trick, I was a Pringle’s kid.

Lays tried, brain’s fried, no cannibal.

Cold jokes all Burr, no Hannibal.

The only scratch I see is from an animal.

Old folks hatch dust and bust nuts,

at the hospital.

I’m almost done here.

Fixed chain, no spokes, I got one gear.

Head over handles,

bred as vandals.

Smelly sandals and scented candles.

El fin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

save for later

I’m running out of time. No, that doesn’t have some double, deeper meaning…I’ve got 15 minutes to give the people what they want- MORE content. Or do they? How much media can people actually absorb in a day? How much should they? In a world of sensory overload, am I adding to the problem? Why do we all feel the need to “express” ourselves? Why do Dean and I think that people want to listen in on our conversations (i.e. the podcast) or read our blog posts? I grapple with this thought every time I post on here, Facebook or Instagram.Whether it’s personal or for the site, I feel a little whorish assuming that people care about what we’re up to or our thoughts on what’s going on in the world. Am I giving a little bit of my soul with every hashtag and sent emoji?  I know it’s just insecurity but at the end of the day I do think it helps. It doesn’t help in the way that’s immediate or measurable but there’s a little part of me that feels like I’m doing my part at the moment. I’ve never really felt like this before. I’ve never really felt like I know what my purpose is. I’m not saying this is it but there’s something in me that thinks, that knows this is what I’m supposed to be doing. This could be the start of a bigger picture or just me mixing the paint but regardless, it just feels right. I’m supposed to be talking it out, talking to you. Time’s up. See you tomorrow.