Big Me vs. Little Me

by The Relatables, posted in Podcast

        My brain works better when I’m looking slightly forward. There’s a lot of “live in the moment” blather but the only reason a lot of these people choose to live “in the now” is because they made decisions in the past that afforded them the time and resources to do so. Those past actions were performed based on hope or a certain desired outcome…in the future.

I usually try to shy away from absolutes but ever since I’ve been back home, I feel like I’ve only noticed two types of people. There are the people working on themselves, looking towards the future and people still stuck on decisions and actions from the past. Maybe it’s just the people I’ve surrounded myself with but it’s obvious which tactic is working out for whom.

The big worry is that by looking too far in the future, we grow anxious and forget to appreciate and live in the moment. I think that logic should only apply in the moment.

I’ve heard a lot of talk about “big me” and “little me” lately. The gist is that there is a bigger part of yourself (usually rooted in some form of self-preservation) that looks at the overall picture and steers your lifeboat in accordance to your desired destination. “Big me” is creative yet goal oriented and wants to build. The smaller part of yourself, your “little me” looks within and is more virtuous in it’s approach to life. You need both, but not equally all the time. Right now I need my “big me” to steer full steam ahead.

Maybe for you, it’s “little me” season. You’ve pushed and pushed and right now is the time for introspection and confrontation of moral dilemmas that might be holding you back from performing when “big me” needs to put work in. It may help you honestly confront behaviors and balance out your perspective which then allow room for more relationships with not only other people but yourself. Your relationship with yourself permeates in to all others. My only advice would not to over indulge on the “little me” or you risk getting stuck in the past.

I don’t really like to do that thing where you summarize everything you just said and make it all cute like a bow on top at the end. All I’m saying is that for me, right now, it’s a good idea to tap in to my “big me” and look forward a little. That’s it.

 

Sources: Intro to The Road To Character by David Brooks

 

Momentum

by The Relatables, posted in Podcast

“The human brain is not designed to make you happy, it’s designed to make you survive. Happiness, that’s your job.”

I found this quote about 3 years ago and it helped me change my perspective and how I felt about life.

Sometimes life can be simple, but just because it’s simple does not make it easy.

I used to get frustrated that I wasn’t where I wanted to be in life or that I didn’t feel how I thought I should, but this quote helped me realize that you manifest your own destiny. It’s not owed to you or somehow built into going through the motions.

But one thing that really helps me is momentum. I’m motivated by a lot of things, but one of the most powerful is habit.

Take getting/staying in shape for example. It starts with the little things, like working out. After you work out you feel those endorphins flowing and you don’t want to fuel a good work out with junk food, so you eat a clean, healthy meal. The next day you feel sore, but know that if you work out anyway, it will be good for you. So you work out and eat healthy again the next day. A few days of this go by and the weekend rolls around. A friend invites you to go out to eat and grab some drinks. You do, and over indulge a bit. Enough to make you skip working out the next day, and the next. This is what usually starts my motivation kick. I start to think about all the momentum I’ve lost. About how if I just do the little things everyday, it adds up to big results. About how hard it will be to start from scratch, or start to slip when I’ve already come so far

There’s a video I like, it’s about brushing your teeth and how it correlates to getting in shape. Brushing your teeth one time for 2 minutes isn’t going to make your teeth white. Just like working out one day isn’t going to get you a 6 pack. But brushing your teeth twice a day for a year will certainly whiten your teeth. The same goes for anything in life. The small daily act probably won’t make any noticeable difference at all, but the consistency of that act over time, the dedication to the act, knowing you are paying it forward will yield results.

In a ever-growing, fast pace society, people want to see results yesterday. And it can be hard to find the motivation to do the little things when it seems like everyone around you is doing big things. But committing yourself to the act, because you believe in yourself can build momentum. And the momentum, just like a snowball downhill, will grow and grow, until you become the unstoppable force of your dreams.

Here’s The Thing. It’s up to you what you want to do with your life. Set goals, chase your dreams, and have a plan. Know that it’s not overnight success, but a gradual journey. See the person you want to be, and do the things that person would do, until you become that reality.

Episode 147: Merit (the app)

by The Relatables, posted in Podcast

The guys come up with a new idea for a social media app, get real vulnerable about crying and catch up since last week’s guest episode.

bbno$ – Shining On My Ex (feat. Yung Gravy)

Kanye West – Use This Gospel

 

Episode 146: Life In Transit (@dancewithmagic)

by The Relatables, posted in Podcast

Logan Duhammel stops by to let the guys in on his experiences during a 6 month long journey driving all over the country. From Florida to Oregon and then all way back up to Rhode Island, Logan tells The Relatables all about his run-in with the law, epic hookups and even a little bit about how he converted his Ford Transit van to living quarters. Lots of wisdom and laughs in this one!

Ween – So Many People In The Neighborhood

Ween – Ocean Man

Episode 145: The Boy Is Back In Town

by The Relatables, posted in Podcast

The guys are face to face again as Zack comes back home from Michigan. Dean comes up with an idea to help college kids get their essays done a little quicker. This ep was just okay. We’ll do better. We love you.

bbno$ – Lalala (feat. Y2K)

bbno$ – Slop

Biggest Mistake In My Career

by The Relatables, posted in Podcast
I was preparing for a high stakes job interview last week, and I came across a question that seemed difficult to answer at first:
What is the biggest mistake you made in your career, and how did you overcome it?
My career rap sheet has 5 years worth of experience (relatively short time), ranging from law firms to IT, event planning, and now even engineering.  When was there time for a HUGE mistake, and if there was one, how am I already over it by now?  I thought back on everything it took to get to where I am today and then the grim reality hit me like a pile of bricks. 
My biggest mistake was all in the beginning.  Deciding to get a degree in Political Science…what a hard pill to swallow…because while I was in school full-time I was working full-time in a law office for almost 4 years with one of the most wonderful teams I’ve ever worked with.  I thought I wanted to be a lawyer too, that my whole career would be shaped by a firm I was lucky enough to be a part of in the midst of extremely formative years of my life.  But it was during my last semester of college that I realized I didn’t want to pursue law – it was like my school beat any remaining passion for politics out of me by shoving it down my throat constantly (Poli Porn lol)…Too late to turn back now though. Now what?  I didn’t know…All I knew at this point were a bunch of things I didn’t want to do – and that folks, is where this post is going.
Knowing what you don’t want to do can be just as important as knowing what you want to do.
I quit my job and moved across the country without a real plan – I had savings and a determination to see what my newly earned degree and years at a law firm could get me.  In the past year alone I have since worked in 3 vastly different industries – and after probably 300 hours of serious reflection, job applications, reading about Masters programs, pouring over my resume, skills and so forth…I figured it out.  My dream is to become a Project Manager, first…famous stand-up comedian, second. 😉  I didn’t come to this answer overnight, but the only reason I got to it is because I pushed myself to try different things based on answers I found from looking inward.  All this is to say, if the answer isn’t obvious to you at first, or you feel like you’re not particularly passionate about anything…(cuz every millennial poster child will tell you to pursue what you love, but that might not always be the obvious or lucrative lifestyle answer)…Don’t worry.  If you know a bit about what you DON’T want to do with your life, you’re halfway there.
Oh, and to fully answer the interview question?  I overcame my mistake, by still using a degree I’m not passionate about as a stepping stone into a field I am passionate about. Not such a mistake after all, huh. No degree is a mistake as long as you know how to leverage that paper, sis!