Category: Here’s The Thing

From Dean Nimock, every Monday!

Back Dated

by The Relatables, posted in Here's The Thing

I’m a day late, but never a story short. Hence the title. But I kept trying to think of something of substance to write about this week until the final hour, and I fucked around, like Lamar Odom at All-Star Weekend.

Earlier this year I read David Goggin’s book Can’t Hurt Me. Well, I listened to the audiobook but same difference. But he mentions something in there about the difference between motivation and drive. As I made some changes in my life, I’ve noticed the things that have driven me and the things that have motivated me.

I’ve been motivated, like everyone else, to do a lot of things in my life. To get in shape, to “get this bread,” to chase my dreams. I’ve also been driven to do many others, like pursue comedy and be true to myself.

He describes motivation as a spark of inspiration, usually lasting a couple of weeks. Then drifting away, like the books you were going to read or the diet you were going to stick to. But one thing he highlights is that motivation is like an adrenaline dump, and after it’s gone you’re left with pure will.

The will to do or to not.

Drive usually results in a lifestyle change and the effects last much longer than motivation.

There is a lot of grey area in the space between motivation and drive. And in this space we usually find ourselves faced with the question to challenge ourselves to the unknown or to welcome back the familiar.

He advises to look for things that drive you. I like to think of it as motivation being a pushing force, that when it’s behind you can force you to do things you wouldn’t before, but when that push is gone, the struggle falls back on you. I describe drive, on the other hand, as a pull. A force that draws you to it, like a siren to the rocks, or a moth to a light. It’s an incessant desire for a certain dream or person or place. Motivation is deciding to fight, and Drive is the plan you have after you get hit. Eh, works for me. But my point is find the things in life that drive you, whether it’s to a pursuit of happiness, or betterment, or just cause. Where there is a will, there is a way.

Learn how to Learn

by The Relatables, posted in Here's The Thing

My mom had a saying that I’m pretty sure she made up, but it has always stuck with me. I even have it written on my wall.

“The best at getting better” -Mom

It’s a really simple, and very humble way to approach progress. I’ve always wanted to be a jack of all trades, be open to all possibilities, and try everything. When I was younger, I used to call myself “The Natural” (on video games lol). But it had to do with that fact that I pick up on things quickly. The more things I try and the more things I learn, the better I get at trying and learning new things. I’ve learned how to learn. Looking back on school, I’ve tried to think about it more as learning how to learn, than learning what you need to know. Of course there are things you learn in school that you need to know, but I feel the majority of what you do is learn how to learn, that way when you do find something you are passionate or interested in you have the tools to get better at it. Learning how to problem solve, how to research, how to work with others- those are all basic skills you need to get better at anything in life. Changing my perspective to appreciate that fact has helped me become better at getting better, because I understand the process and what it takes to get better, at anything…whether it’s slack line, comedy, relationships, or running.

Why Here?

by The Relatables, posted in Here's The Thing

I remember back in school, when we were first learning about the discovery of America and “The Oregon Trail” and the Gold Rush, the thought dawned on me- why are you there? It was a much different time back then, harder people faced with harder decisions. But they still had reasons. The point I’m trying to make is, if you were traveling from the East coast of the US to the West Coast, why would you stop in Kansas, why stop in Mississippi, why stop in Nevada? *nothing against the Midwest* Maybe it was because someone got sick and they couldn’t continue, maybe they found a nice patch a grass in the right time of year and didn’t realize they were in the middle of tornado alley, maybe they were just over it and didn’t want to push anymore. In the attempt to discover this country, people settled everywhere. That always surprised me. Why would you choose to settle somewhere with feet of snow? Maybe it’s because I’m a warm-body, but I feel like if you had the option to move, why not? This may sound like a ramble, but I’m getting to my main point. Since I’ve been driving for Uber, I’ve met a lot of different people from all over the world, and the question I ask almost all of them is, “why Jacksonville?” Some say business, others school, or a job opportunity. And a friend of mine gave me some really interesting perspective. The only reason I’m in Jacksonville is because my parents moved here for a job opportunity before I was born. I never had a choice, and now as an adult I can choose to live where ever I want, and it’s scary to think that this is the choice almost anyone can make. A lot of people never leave their hometown for numerous reasons, but I never considered that your hometown is kind of like your skin color, but different in the fact that you can change it. So, guess it would be more like your gender. I’ve been thinking about moving lately, and starting a new chapter of my life on my terms. Not that it hasn’t been so far, but I feel like I never considered a life outside my hometown as a real option, and that the only reason someone would leave would be to take a job or go to school. Recently I’ve tried chasing a dream of mine and I think it might take me places I’ve never been before. I’m seriously considering the possibility to move, where ever I want.

A Circle?

by The Relatables, posted in Here's The Thing

“Sometimes you gotta look at things from outside the box, to realize you are in a circle.” –Dean

Most people remember the first time they heard their voice recorded and not from inside their own head or remember seeing a picture of themselves as opposed to looking at themselves in the mirror. In that moment you realize that you aren’t quite what you thought you were, and that people might perceive you differently then what you let on.

Sometimes it takes a best friend to tell you that you are in a toxic relationship, to shake things up and make you look at your life in a different way. Sometimes it takes a manager looking over your shoulder to make you realize you can be more productive if you put away your phone. Sometimes it takes a training partner to highlight that one detail you might have been overlooking to really hone in your technique and get better. Sometimes it takes a psychedelic experience to make you realize what’s really important in life. No matter what the catalyst of change is, my advice is to be open to it and to constantly be aware that you can only perceive so much alone.

As soon as you feel you have it all figured out, you limit yourself to the new possibilities that can expand your understanding. LeBron James has a trainer, Elon Musk has advisors, employees have managers, and all of us have friends, family, and loved ones. From the best in the world to the “extra” ordinary, everyone needs that external force to push them past what they thought was possible, encourage them when they don’t believe in themselves, or give perspective they might have never considered.

Check this out!

by The Relatables, posted in Here's The Thing

So there’s a portion of Your Friends Favorite Podcast that has really grown on me. It’s a section I call “Highly Recommended”. I didn’t know why I liked it so much until I heard Kevin Hart talk about his passions on The Joe Rogan Experience. I used to think that a friends recommendation, whether it be a movie, restaurant, song, vacation spot, relationship advice, etc. was an extension of them. And to write off or ignore a recommendation felt almost like I was slighting them. Everyone knows the feeling of being really excited about a movie, song or show and going to tell your friend about it, then checking on them the next day or in a week only to find out they didn’t check it out. I want to live the best and happiest life I can, and I, as only one man, can only experience so much. And as I look back, I’ve done and witnessed a lot of amazing things and wasted my time doing many things that were less than stellar. I like to look at my friends as curators to the world, and filters of experience. If you are my friend, then I value your opinion, and if you recommend something, I feel like you enjoyed it. I know that you filtered out all the BS to something that you believe others will enjoy too. In fewer words, a recommendation is like someone’s Instagram. You don’t see the bad times, you get the highlight reel of their life. They found their good side, filtered out all the bad lighting, cropped out their ex, and present to the world their best selves. So the next time someone recommends something to you, don’t take it as a chore to accomplish, but as an opportunity to skip the BS and get right to the good stuff.