Morgan Gallo (@mamaofjokes) stopped by to talk to us about standup comedy, dating apps, being barely Latina, and lesbian porn. Give her a shoutout and a follow!
The guys ponder whether or not their parents would be cool if they were gay. As always, the guys work out bits and just have a super time time good. Dean has a firm stance on sweet potato vs. pumpkin pie and Zack will never be likable.
Waylon Jennings – Never Been To Spain
Foo Fighters – Come Alive
This podcast will never have a name. Ever.
The Alchemist & The Cool Kids – Wtf (feat. Boldy James)
Zack Fox – Jesus is the One (I Got Depression)
senzawa – i turned a bad copy pasta into a bad rap
Doris Day – Que Sera, Sera
The guys catch up and give riff jobs. **Excessive NBA free agency talk warning.** Dean hops on a comedy show that costs way too much and Zack thinks all women in sports are on steroids.
Todrick – Nals, Hair, Hips, Heels
Lil Nas X – C7osure
I don’t really feel like writing today, so here are some one-liners I’ve put together over the last few weeks. You can only steal them if you say them on stage.
-The word “quench” makes me thirsty.
– I think flat-earthers are just trying to get a free trip to space.
-There should be a three drink MAXIMUM.
-Fuck cancer? You might not have cancer if you were a little nicer.
-Lesbians have the best weed (not a joke, just a fact).
-Boxed water should taste like pussy.
-Why aren’t there wallet chains for your phone?
-Struggle is like chickenpox, the earlier you get it the better. (idunno)
-I’d rather buy tampons than WhiteClaws.
-I bet the hardest part about dating Ariana Grande (for Pete Davidson) was having to pretend her music was good.
– Saw a post from a girl holding a bridesmaid coffee mug with the caption “No Greater Honor”…how many pats on the back do women want?
-You can usually tell one’s race by how long their hashtags are.
-I’ve never really gotten a backhanded compliment…they all feel like fore-handed “Fuck Yous”, to me.
-I will NEVER speak in absolutes EVER again.
-All dogs are rescues, if you think about it.
-Ultimatums are threats with longer timelines.
-I once tried to kill my sister’s cat with allergy medicine.
-High heels are just portable squatty potties.
-Long, drawn out sex is a lie developed by Big Porn.
-*eats Non-GMO* …. *smokes California weed*….
-If there were no refs in MMA, would the guy who knocked the other guy out just keep going?! Sheesh.
These are bad, I know.