In a Relationship With Me

by The Relatables, posted in Just Jade

Being single this summer has forced me to spend some time looking inward.  I started asking myself why I’ve spent so much time in and out of relationships, and I rarely stay single for more than six months at a time (if that).  It’s strange because people who know me tend to describe me as this free spirit, the girl who does what she wants and can’t be controlled.  I’m not the kind of person who depends on a relationship for safety or security – yet I find myself always in one?  Why?

 Because I’m fucking high demand that’s why. Grade A, bomb ass P………..KIDDING.

 I think it’s because I’m such an extrovert and I’m always meeting new people and having an amazing time (PG answer 😊).  Then I connect with someone, we like each other, and over time it becomes the next step that just makes the most sense despite the red flags.  So far that obviously hasn’t worked out for me – my longest relationship has been with my cat (6 years strong baby).

So instead, I’m consciously choosing to enjoy this me (and cat) time.  My old skool aunt would tell you that at 27, I’m being “too picky”, and she asked me to point her to the mystical land of Mr Perfects when I find it.  I’m not searching for perfect.  I’m searching for myself (what a millennial line).  There are things that I thought I wanted out of life, but by being with myself this summer alone, I realized that I don’t want those things.  I don’t want to have kids, I don’t want to move back home to settle down anymore.  I don’t want to settle down at all, until my joints hurt and I can’t walk.  This isn’t to say I’m opposed to fully sharing my life with someone else again, it just can’t be because it’s the “next step” to stay in each other’s lives.

Working on that…that’s the next step in my relationship with me.

It (Still) Takes a Village

by The Relatables, posted in Zack's Spot

 You see the title, we’ve all heard the phrase. “It takes a village” is an African idiom as old as time, but I think it’s idiotic that it only applies to children. Where did this “village” go? What happened to all the people to who used to pinch my cheeks and snitch on me to my mom? It was all good when I was a cute pup but now that doggy’s all grown up he has to hunt for his own kibble. I’ll stray away from the dramatics of the dog metaphor but after you reach a certain age, life gets rough (or ruff, hehe). Right around the time you grow out of your cuteness is when you need the village the most. You’re a preteen and your face is greasy, your voice is all over the place and you’re swatting boners away like a never-ending game of whack-a-mole. That’s when the village starts losing members…like a plague came through. Your adorable “kids say the darnedest things” moments become awkward silence and dads aren’t cool with you hanging out with their daughters unsupervised. Adults try to connect with you by reminiscing about their old days, which only embarrasses you and further pushes you away. Or they’re so scared or insecure to try to connect that they turn in to dicks. I don’t know, and I’m getting close to that 250 word count minimum that for some reason I imposed on The Relatable team.

The jizz of it is, long after we’re children, it STILL takes a village. However, the cool thing is that you can eventually hand pick your village. Pick your village wisely and remember the strong will outlast any plague.

 

P.s. – I thought the title and premise was sooo original before writing this and I googled “it still takes a village” about midway through and forced myself to try to finish. Really embracing the newly found credo, “Don’t Overthink Shit”. Boom. Godnight.

Being the Best vs. Staying the Best

by The Relatables, posted in Here's The Thing

It takes a certain kind of person to strive to be the best. That, plus an incredible amount of determination to become it. But the reason why some are seen as the greatest of all time or legends, is because the consistency they achieved to stay the best.

Growing up and even now, I always equated this to athletes like Micheal Jordan or Jon Jones. Micheal Jordan was one of my sports idols growing up, not just because of Space Jam, but because the legacy he left in his presence and wake. I once heard it phrased that “Jordan kept a lot of Hall of Famers from getting rings”. As a Jacksonville Jaguars fan, I know what it’s like to have a good season, only to be figured out and squelched the next.

Maybe it’s luck or circumstance, but it’s not impossible to get to the top. But once you’ve been figured out, your not a flash in the pan, people see your weaknesses, and people are driven to beat you. That’s when true greatness is tested. To be a truly unstoppable force is to succeed in the face of constant hungry challengers.

As usual, I don’t know where I’m going with this, and managed to ramble till it all ran together. But I think I say that to say this. Dream beyond your goals. If attaining your goals is the end, once you do, the thrill is gone. But like my mom always says, “Be the best at getting better!”

It’s My Birthday

by The Relatables, posted in Just Jade

It’s not my birthday. It just feels like it, except better.

I’m seeing my favorite artist close out a tour they started in 2017 this weekend. It’ll be my 11th time. They have 2 show dates for people who couldn’t make the 1st date – I’m going to both.

I have traveled across the country for them, changed my move to California from my hometown date because I heard they were coming, I’ve spontaneously driven 6+ hours to see them in San Francisco for NYE and had to drive back in less than 24 hours…I’ve sat in 4+ hours of traffic to see them in Vegas, I’ve been sick with the flu in San Diego and laid on the grass at a festival feeling like death for hours waiting for their set, and when it started it was like I wasn’t sick at all anymore (I paid dearly when it ended)… and now I’m going up to Los Angeles two days in a row to see the same show twice. 

I know a lot of people think I’m ridiculous (I prefer passionate) for my uncanny obsession with ODESZA – but all I have to say to that is I am so happy I found something in life that makes me THIS HAPPY.  To have an experience make me feel like nothing else does (that’s right, better than sex), DESPITE all the shittiness and voids there are in life?? Something as simple as a show temporarily erases all of that for me; Anyone mad at that is just bitter. The memories of 20 year old Jade falling in love with a sound as I learned to navigate some harsh realities on my own are part of what make it so special, and I think everyone can relate to something like that.  

I plan to cry my eyes out this weekend (I’m not a crier and it won’t be because of any drug influence either)…They say your wedding is supposed to be THE best day of your life….I mean unless ODESZAis DJ’ing the damn thing there’s no way it’ll be mine. 😉

Racing to Red Lights

by The Relatables, posted in Zack's Spot

 

I got tailgated and passed by some guy on the road the other day. He was in a rush, seemed kind of pissed off and sped past me only to get stopped by a red light no more than two blocks ahead. He then proceeded to accelerate really fast off the line twice more before eventually seeing me creep up behind him at yet another red light. Each time got funnier and funnier until I realized we’re all that guy in a convertible Mustang sometimes, just racing to red lights.

We clock in on Monday and race to the Friday night red light. We set a goal to lose weight and stop working on ourselves when we get there. We binge watch the Sopranos only to have the series finale cut to black. I’m pissed. I’m sorry, I just finished it and feel as angry as convertible Mustang guy. The Sopranos debacle aside, I think people can relate to the feeling of revving up only to realize you’re going to have to brake hard because of the world around you. We may see people around us moving slower than we’d like and honk and act like a dick because we think it’s going to make them move faster, but it won’t. At the end of the day, the actions or inactions of people around you shouldn’t affect your mood, you should. We only get mad at other people when we realize that we’re the ones racing red lights.