Appreciate Suggestion

by The Relatables, posted in Zack's Spot

One of my favorite movies growing up was “Annie” (the 1982 version). You bet your bottom dollar I’m not afraid to admit it. Stop rolling your eyes. Don’t be a Ms. Hannigan, that shit was FIRE. I’d stay at my grandma’s house once a month and insist she put that and “The NeverEnding Story” on a loop. I was content. Fast forward 20 years later and I can’t appreciate shit. I mean, I appreciate things but I don’t ever reexamine them. Why can’t we do that as adults? I feel like when we were kids we could watch a movie over and over and over again but when we get older we think we get it the first time around. We think we understand someone’s art while we halfheartedly watch with phones in our hand. Maybe our brains are trying to cut through the bullshit. Maybe we’re not interested because we know it’s a waste of time or maybe we don’t care because we feel like we’ve seen it before. I know my brain does both of those things. Any time someone suggests a new show or movie to me, I’m very skeptical. I guess it depends on who has suggested it (especially if they’ve wasted my time before) but usually I can sniff out why I don’t like their suggestion within the first five or ten minutes. This is a mechanism designed to comfort my brain. By picking it apart, I allow myself a rationalize why it’s a waste of time and get back to what I know I think I like. That last sentence made total sense, believe me. I shit on people all the time for being in their communal echo chambers (the far right and the far left) when I live completely in my own.

I’ve gotten pretty far from Annie in this post. It’s starting to feel like “The Neverending Blog”. Bottom line is I’m going to start taking suggestions more seriously- sans phone in hand.

Episode 127: Soft Bottoms

by The Relatables, posted in Podcast

Hear comedy tips and tidbits from two non-comedians. The guys discuss how even idiots can own their own business, their first time stumbling on to pornography and the fact they’ve never really hit a “hard bottom”. Are soft bottoms holding them back?

Taylor Girls – Wedgie in My Booty

DVBBS – GOMF (feat. BRIDGE)

Social Media Holidays

by The Relatables, posted in Here's The Thing

When I was growing up (just like almost every other kid), my parents, grandparents, friends and coaches would all take pictures. Most kids can find a photo album of them doing everything from playing at the beach, to opening Christmas presents.

But at some point around middle or high school, the pictures stopped. At least for me, anyway. I’ve always had a weird thing about being in the moment and present, and taking out a camera always killed that for me. I was never opposed to group photos or pictures, but I grew away from stopping the moment to capture the moment.

With the internet and social media, content is king, and if it’s not text, audio, video, or picture, it doesn’t exist. From taking pictures of food to girls doing cooking tutorials in just a bikini, the internet has a place for everything.

This past weekend was Father’s Day, and social media was flooded with girls posting their wedding pictures with dad, boats days with dad, and food posts from fathers saying they are the luckiest man alive. To me, these moments and holidays are intimate- they are to be spent with the ones around you and cherished. But there are a few holidays that are poised for social media, and if played right could certainly add to your “clout”.

In the realm of holidays some are more powerful than others, with the 4 horsemen being; Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, The 4thof July, and New Year’s Eve. These are what I consider “social media holidays”, where one is compelled to show the world they do/did in fact have parents and weren’t born in a lab. There’s the 4th, a day where the hashtag #SunsOutBunsOut is pushed to the absolute limit and who can forget New Year’s Eve, the holiday with the most creative captions, usually consisting of song lyrics (most likely Drake) or squad/couple goals.

Honorable mentions of “social media” holidays include Halloween and Valentine’s Day for the thirst traps and the “forever loves”. There is no real point to make here, just the observation, that with theses changing times, the times they are a changing. What if there was a Social Media Day, where we celebrated clean airspace, free of radio waves or Wi-Fi? Idk, Just a Thought.

The Business of Humanity

by The Relatables, posted in Here's The Thing

I hope the title made you think, “damn this kid is a wordsmith!” And if not, you won’t be disappointed.

Woke Culture is among us and I think it’s a good thing. People are starting to look toward the bigger picture; global warming, gender fluidity, equality. People are having conversations they might not have considered or are exploring ideas they might never have looked at. With this newfound knowledge, people are taking more ownership of their decisions, and holding others more accountable.

The connection I’m trying to make is we’ve gotten so connected through the internet that there is almost like a global consciousness. Businesses are acting like individuals, even given some rights as such. But one interesting thing about business is it strives to survive and protect itself, whether it’s for profit and innovation or other means.

I think before people were more disconnected and didn’t have anything to invest in, especially in issues that weren’t personal or close to their own. With the internet, everyone is aware and can take stock in the collective of humanity. It’s like we are all small business owners who know if we allow racism, it’s like someone stealing at your job. We all are moving forward as a humanity to survive and protect ourselves while trying understand things like nuclear energy and our impact on our planet.

The point is, everyone plays a role in making the world a better place. If humanity was your small upstart, self-employed business, who would you hire? How would you operate? What would you sell?

Conserve Your Judgement

by The Relatables, posted in Just Jade

I’ve heard that CA is where liberals go to die.  I thought I had the liberal political scale thing figured out (I’m a Poli Sci major, w00t)…until I came to California. There are outrageous gas prices, ridiculous income taxes, third highest homelessness rate in the United States, 1st and 3rd worst traffic in the nation …The fact that I can’t expect to pay less than $1,500 to land a semi decent studio can get under my skin sometimes. Ok, all the time. But none of that is why my libertard brain was jarred. At LA Pride this past weekend, I saw a vivid culture promoting love for all, no matter who you are or what you choose to be (beautiful concept!). But there I was, thinking I didn’t belong because I’m a “straight” chick, in a crowd full of LGBQT’s. I had to remind myself that my every day, around a majority of hetero people, is also their every day. And then I asked myself, what even is this ‘my’ vs ‘their’ lingo. We’re all in this. It is actually our every day. Their fight is our fight. All this is just to say, it is incredibly eye opening to have your perceived open mindedness challenged from time to time – and better yet, to be given the opportunity to correct your behavior to line with your expanding convictions. Life has a fantastic way of always reminding us that the only thing we know for sure, is that we know nothing at all.

Still, fuck these gas prices though.

Sleep on It

by The Relatables, posted in Zack's Spot

I was trying to get this done before the melatonin started to hit. I think it’s too late. I Googled “Why is my brain in a fog” today and wasn’t surprised at the results. It was so obvious that I laughed out loud. I mean, obviously if you don’t get enough sleep and aren’t eating adequately, you tend to get a little spacey. It’s so funny to think about how smart I think I am and then when I actually examine my behaviors, they clearly aren’t those of an intelligent person. I don’t know. Melatonin gotta nilla* wafered, nawmeen? I’m out. I hope Kawhi and Drake get the win tonight. We’ll see in the morning.

 

*nilla– a term coined by the comedian Andrew Shultz close in meaning to the slang African-American “n-word” referring to one’s confidant or compadre

ie. “I was pulling out of work yesterday and this nilla in a turtleneck totally cut me off.”